Of the four houses at Hogwarts, Hufflepuff has always been the odd one out. Gryffindor is for heroes, Slytherin is for villains and Ravenclaw is for cool people who smell good -- but Hufflepuff is just kind of lame. Deep down, it's no one's first choice. Other than being humdrum, Hufflepuff doesn't really have a fixed identity. Unless you count the part where the entire house is full of potheads.
Man, how did we not see this before? This is the house that's known for being the most good-natured and friendly, and it's because everyone is high all the time. The reason Edward Diggory looks dopey every minute of his life is because he's always megabaked. Hell, Hufflepuff is located right next to the kitchen, so they're munchie-adjacent. Plus, the head of their house teaches herbology. And come on, it's right in the name: HUFFlePUFF. Something tells me they're not named after a magic dragon.
You remember the story of the Deathly Hallows, right? Hermoine tells the story, as she says it: "Three bros who meet Death and get some rad shit I guess? I don't know, I don't really pay attention in class." Again, her words. She's not really the most eloquent or studious, so let me run it down.
Death tries to trick three brothers by offering them gifts for their "cunning." The first brother wants a superweapon and is granted the Elder Wand, but quickly makes enemies and dies for power. The second brother asks Death for a way to bring back his dead wife, and uses his new Resurrection Stone to do just that; when the wife withers away, the second brother commits suicide, dying for lost love. The third brother asks for a way to hide from Death, and uses the Cloak of Invisibility to escape his fate until he's an elderly man; at that point, the third brother greets Death like an old friend and passes on.
When you lay it all out like that, it sounds kind of familiar.
That's right -- the story of the Deathly Hallows directly correlates to the stories of Voldemort, Harry Potter and Severus Snape. Voldemort, as you know, died for power after trying to rule the world without being able to breathe through his nose. Harry Potter faced his fate and then chatted with Dumbledore in the Wizard Matrix Afterlife; he greeted death like an old friend. Snape may be the most tragic of all, as he died for a lost love, Lily Potter.
The craziest part? Dumbledore is all three brothers.
We know that Dumbledore craved power in his teenage years. Then he lost his beloved sister. Then, Dumbledore greeted death like an old friend -- in a preplanned "murder" from his years-old chum Severus Snape.
It all connects! Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is Finkle. Both are J.K. Rowling.