1. Deadpool vs. Draculas

deadpool draculas

Though controversial among Deadpool fans, writer Daniel Way managed a pretty substantial run on the character. One of the highlights was the short two-parter drawn by Bong Dazo, "I Rule, You Suck, a tie-in to the X-Men vampire-themed event "Curse of the Mutants." You don't need any prior knowledge about that crossover (unless you really wanna see how Jubilee becomes a vampire), as Deadpool's bit is self-contained. 

The story kicks off with Dead awaking to find a horde well-dressed blood-suckers standing in his bedroom. He understandably acts on his first instinct and blows them all away. Of course, because they're vampires that haven't been staked and/or exposed to the harsh light of day, they pick themselves right up, now with fresh holes in their suits. The cabal calmly explains to Deadpool that they're there to requisition his mercenary services, to protect themselves against a gang of opposing vampires. 

Well, vampires to you and me. Dead insists on calling them Draculas, which the Draculas themselves aren't super-thrilled about. It would probably be borderline racist, if vampires existed.

deadpool draculas

As it turns out, these Nice Draculas run a private hospital that seems to be on the up-and-up. Patients are treated with care and never turned away, and the Nice Draculas get a never-ending supply of blood without having to murder anyone. It's a pretty sweet situation that they've got set up, which makes it a tempting target for a rival clan to take over.  

Just as the Bad Draculas begin their assault, Deadpool steps in and makes with the slicey-dicey. As expected, his rampage is interrupted by the appearance of a sassy and improbably busty female doctor. 

deadpool draculas

The rest plays out a bit like Die Hard in a Hospital, only with vampires in place of terrorists and Deadpool instead of a still-had-a-soul-era Bruce Willis. Though common sense would suggest that Dead could just wait it out until daybreak, the Bad Draculas are actually equipped with special amulets that protect them from the sun's rays and presumably skin cancer down the line. 

So Deadpool does as Deadpools are wont to do: He improvises.  

deadpool draculas

Wade Wilson isn't what you'd call a smart man, but he can be cunning and devious when the need arises. Having a priest bless an entire water tank half a day before your mission just so the sprinklers are filled with holy water is nothing short of genius. That's not the end of the Bad Draculas, however, and the resulting brawl involves and MRI machine, a janitor's mop and several sound effects like SKRUKK! and WHHHOOOFFF!

At the end of the day, it's just Deadpool, Doctor Love Interest and the copious amount of Bad Dracula viscera left all over the hospital walls. Despite knowing how these kinds of stories always, always end, Dead asks the doc out. She lets him down gently. Sort of. 

deadpool draculas

It's not an epic or especially original tale, but sometimes all you need are some bad guys to decaptitate, a good running joke and the promise of ice cream. Isn't that what we all want?

 

2. Deadpool and Spider-Man's bad bromance

spiderman deadpool

Though Deadpool is really a send-up of another character (more on that later), it's not uncommon for people to mistake him for Spider-Man. That's sort of understandable, given the somewhat similar suit designs, but fashion sense is where Wade Wilson and Peter Parker's similarities end. Okay yeah, they're both wisecrackers, but Spidey doesn't often lower himself to black, gallows humor, mostly because he doesn't and has never killed people for money. Deadpool, not so much. 

Anyone knows that a mismatched pair makes for a great team-up, but it's what Deadpool does to Spider-Man that makes for great team-ups. See, whenever Spidey goes all buddy cop with another superhero, he's usually the comic relief sidekick type that kind of drags the other side down. Compared to the Avengers big-leaguers like Captain America and Thor, Spider-Man has always been kind of a small fry, one whose quips and snarky comments tend to annoy the A-listers. 

But when teamed up with Deadpool, Spider-Man is all of a sudden the responsible one, the one that tells the goofy sidekick to shut up. Thing is, since they're both jokesters, things tend to escalate pretty quickly.

spiderman deadpool

In Joe Kelly and Ken Nimura's special one-issue stint on Amazing Spider-Man #611, the crimson crimefighters are involved in a brutal, all-out battle of yo-mama jokes. That doesn't mean that they don't get in physical fights, but it probably hurts a little more knowing that Spider-Man and Deadpool both have dead mothers. 

Though they're frenemies to the end, Dead doesn't exactly see it that way. In his scab-encrusted eyes, Spider-Man is his best buddy. He almost kind of idolizes him, in some issues. Like in Deadpool Annual #2 by Christopher Hastings and Jacopo Camagni, Spidey is knocked out in a scuffle with the Chameleon -- and Deadpool figures that the only way to get the bad guy off his buddy's tail is to be his buddy. 

spiderman deadpool

See, that's just pure respect. Not only does Deadpool the Super-Bro acknowledge the right to a secret identity, but also promises to stick to the no-kill rule, just to make sure his friend's reputation isn't sullied. It's a psychotic and probably altogether unnecessary plan that Deadpool only carries out because he sometimes wishes he could really be one of the good guys -- but still, his intentions are good. 

Deep down, Spider-Man knows that. 

spiderman deadpool

That might be part of what draws Deadpool to Spidey, one of the most unambiguously "good" superheroes around. Yeah, Peter Parker would probably not voluntarily get a drink with Wade Wilson outside their costumes, and in fact finds Deadpool's murderous methods to be repellant and nigh unforgivable. Even so, part of Spidey still refuses to completely write off his mercenary un-friend. The above snippets are part of a larger scene in a Spider-Man/Deadpool miniseries that isn't done yet as of this writing, but since it's from seasoned veterans Joe Kelly and Ed McGuiness, it's bound to be worthwhile for fans of both characters. 

Spider-Man might claim that he and Deadpool "are not friends," but so far he hasn't said they aren't bros.