The latest trailer for the upcoming X-Men: Apocalypse has been released - and we're a little concerned. And not without reason - this trailer is bringing us flashbacks to The Last Stand - the third X-Men film, and one that was so terrible it effectively ended the franchise for years. And it's not just because this is the third film of the trilogy, either. Nope - we have some well-thought out arguments as to why this movie is giving us the creeping feeling of Brett Ratner's X-Men movie...

 

1. Mystique spends most of the movie looking like a regular-lookin' person instead of a blue-skinned redhead

rebecca

rebecca

As you might have noticed in the latest trailer for X-Men: Apocalypse, Mystique (AKA "Raven", as the film seriously expects us to call her for some reason) is mostly....just Jennifer Lawrence. Like, not the blue, sorta scaly, nude redhead we've become accustomed to over the course of 5 previous films. This is probably because Jennifer Lawrence is an unbelievably huge movie star who probably doesn't want to sit through 8 grueling hours of make-up to strut onscreen with her boobs hanging out to deliver like 4 lines of dialogue a day. That's pretty understandable.

However, it does kinda fly in the face of everything we know about Mystique (or Raven, if you're Bryan Singer and reading this) - the blue-skinned nudist is who she truly is. Making herself look like a normal human is a betrayal of her beliefs, and something she's only ever done in previous films in order to infiltrate something or appease the weirdly dickish young Charles Xavier. Hell, this was pretty much the defining line of the original X-Men trilogy:

mystique

But it looks like X-Men: Apocalypse is gonna just have Mystique being less Mystique-y and more just a regular lady...MUCH LIKE X-MEN: THE LAST STAND MOSTLY HAD REBECCA ROMIJN AS HER REGULAR SELF. Although at least that movie had the decency to have FORCED her to look that way, whereas it appears Jennifer Lawrence's version just kinda prefers it.

 

2. The normally sympathetic Magneto has decided to align himself with an uberpowerful villain who wants to basically just destroy the world

magneto

magneto

There's a reason Magneto's typically held up as one of the greatest comic book villains of all-time - he's sympathetic, and has a point of view that's more understandable than "I WANT TO DESTROY THE WORLD BECAUSE I'M EVIL!" He survived the Holocaust and saw humanity at their ugliest, and he's striving for a better world for his kind - a kind that are hated and feared by the rest of the world. But every now and then, the X-Men films forget to make Magneto even vaguely human, such as in X-Men: The Last Stand where he just decides to hang out with the infinitely-powerful Jean Grey/Phoenix and just see how that works out, and now where he's literally become one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, working for a megalomaniacal self-professed "god" who wants to rule the world.

Speaking of - what a huge bummer these movies moved on so quickly from Magneto being a superpowered Nazi hunter. Why didn't they make an entire movie about that?

 

3. FUCK YOU, BRIDGES

bridge

bridge

You know what architectural structure both 3rd X-films sure seem to hate? Bridges. Still pretty unsure why Magneto thought he had to carry a bridge to kill one kid (DUDE YOU HAVE THE PHOENIX, JUST USE THE PHOENIX), and not really sure why Apocalypse and his Horsemen feel the need to wreck a bunch of New York City bridges when DUDE YOU HAVE THE FOUR HORSEMEN AND YOU'RE APOCALYPSE, SET YOUR SIGHTS HIGHER THAN "BRIDGES."