5. Batman becomes a God, and also a real dick

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Having a Green Lantern ring is a pretty big deal for sure, but it pales in comparison to sitting atop the Mobius Chair. Created by supergenius Metron to explore the universe, the Mobius Chair makes space and time a plaything for anyone who uses it. And in the current Justice League storyline "The Darkseid War" by Geoff Johns and Jason Fabok, the Caped Crusader deems himself worthy to pop a squat on said hyper-advanced furniture. Not only does the throne of thrones allow Batman to travel time and space, it also allows him to access all of the information that Metron -- again, a supergenius space explorer -- has accumulated. That's a lot. When I say that Batman on the Mobius Chair is the God of Knowledge, that's not an exaggeration, but a statement of fact. 

So what does a mortal like Batman do with all that power? First order of business: Be a dick to Green Lantern.  

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Hal and Bruce have never really gotten along, but the chair seems to bring out Bruce's worst side. He's still Batman, for sure, but you start to get the feeling that "absolute power corrupts absolutely" can apply to even the most well-respected superheroes.

With unlimited resources and the ability to know anything and everything, Batman still thinks that doling out old-fashioned justice is a good use of his time. In one scene, he warps around reality to find a man with a knife, currently considering doing harm to his wife. Suddenly Bat-God zaps onto the scene and zips the would-be perpetrator off to Theymyscria, home of Wonder Woman.

batman god

Batman knows that the local Amazonians don't take kindly to men, and yet he has no qualms in leaving the creep there -- possibly to die -- even though he has technically committed no crime. At this point, Batman is pretty much a one-man version of the futurecrime police force in Minority Report, minus the milky hot tub.

On the Mobius Chair, Batman has unlimited power and also a really nice set of glowing fingerless gloves -- it's hard to imagine what else he might want. Except maybe a heart-to-heart with the man who killed his parents. 

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There have been plenty of confrontations between Batman and Joe Chill, but this one has a slightly different tone. Whereas Batman is often met with a remorseful man who thinks about his dark deed every day of his life, this Chill seems like an unrepentant skinhead straight out of American History X. Batman's no peach either; after revealing his identity, he threatens Chill with a vision of what would happen if the secret got out. 

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Basically, everyone in Gotham would know that Chill is responsible for the creation of Batman. It's like being that kid in class who threw up on the field trip to the donut factory and now nobody is allowed to go on field trips to the donut factory anymore. This kind of ruthless and unfettered rage is unbecoming of the Dark Knight, even when faced with the man who made him who he is today. 

Since this comic is part of the "real" DC Universe and not an Elseworlds tale, of course Bat-god had to find a way to make Chill forget everything he'd seen. That's just what happened, but along with that magical mind-wipe, Bat-God left Chill feeling hollow inside.

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Let that be a lesson to you: Don't ever shoot someone's parents, because someday they might become a god and like, really creep you out. 

 

4. Vampire Batman goes absolutely crazy

vampire batman

In the years following Batman's original gun-toting debut in 1939, the different versions of the character have all revolved around the same core characteristics. In most cases, a) Batman's parents were killed, b) Batman dresses like a bat to fight crime and c) Batman doesn't kill anyone. Even in the comics world, where death is rarely permanent, murder is something you can never un-do. Whenever there came such a time where it looked like Batman might have killed somebody, it's later explained away that "Nah, Batman knew they'd be fine, so it's okay. 

That can't be said for the Vampire trilogy, whose second chapter sees Batman -- now a vampire because of a fight with Dracula, because of course -- finally sink his teeth the Joker. It's a tragic moment, because even though an evil man is dead, it came at the cost of the corruption of one of the best men the world has ever seen. 

The third book in the series kinda takes things up a notch.  

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Though he was staked at his own request at the end of the second chapter, Gordon and Alfred ressurected Vampire Batman after the city became overrun with Arkham Asylum's most vile criminals. In this universe at least, Batman's absence doesn't mean the criminals lose their will to fight; instead, it just means they have free reign of the city. That all comes to an end when Vamp-Man sets out to rid Gotham of its scum once and for all. 

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One-by-one, pretty much every major villain gets their due. Usually Batman just gorges on their necks, but at times he gets a little uh, creative. Like the time that he decided to intimidate Killer Croc by tossing Alfred's head at him. 

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To be clear, Alfred willingly gave his life so that an injured Batman might suck his blood and then later go bowling with it. It was Alfred's valiant sacrifice and bouncy cranium that allowed the Dark Knight to complete his criminal murder punchard and get a free shampoo at Supercuts.

At this point, all of Gotham's demons are taken care of -- well, all but one. The familiar "one monster left" trope rears its head yet again, and in this case it means Vampire Batman greets his True Death at sunrise.  

vampire batman

You can usually find the trilogy packed together in one big graphic novel. The depicted balls-to-the-wall insanity doesn't bleed through the entire book, but if "Vampire Batman" sounds intriguing to you, it's worth a look.