It seems nowadays that every state has an official EVERYTHING. The official state amphibian of Colorado is the Western tiger salamander, The official state beverage of Rhode Island is "coffee milk." It's all just a lame excuse for officials to waste taxpayer time and money when they should be allocating resources for the issues that truly matter, like WHO IS THE OFFICIAL STATE POKEMON FOR EACH STATE IN THIS GLORIOUS UNION? Don't worry legislators, we went to the trouble for you, while only being flippantly insulting to SOME of the states involved.

 

This was an alarmingly difficult task for us, and if you disagree with our choices, we welcome your input in the comments.

 

1.

alaska pokemon

Both are trying really hard to gloss over the grim realities of cotton production.

 

2.

alaska wailord

Unfathomably huge, but lacking necessary (population) density.

 

3.

arizona pokemon

Macargo's pokedex famously boasts that its body temperature is 18,000 F, which is what being outside in Arizona FEELS like.

 

4.

arkansas geodude pokemon

Literally a "Little Rock." Eh? Get it?

 

5.

california pokemon groudon

Champion of large landmasses, seems to have a contentious relationship with water.

 

6.  

colorado

 High as FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.