5. The Death of BoB

While ducking lasers and dodging missiles against the beautiful backdrop of EVE Online's nebulas can be exciting, the game's true meat and potatoes are cultivated in good, old-fashioned dickery. And if there's a cosmic equivalent to the Red Wedding in this player-driven space opera, it's probably the dissolution of Band of Brothers, slayers of the first Titan and still one of EVE's oldest and most well-known power blocs.

Among the biggest of the game's space assholes, and one of the men who engineered BoB's destruction, is Alex "The Mittani" Gianturco. Master of the amorphous blob of Something Awful users that is Goonswarm, EVE Online's current and seemingly unstoppable top alliance, The Mittani is more-or-less the face of modern EVE. There was a time, however, when the balance of power was more evenly spread. Sharing the spotlight with him was Band of Brothers, which had begun falling prey to internal strife.

If this all sounds like something out of a super-complicated graphic novel, it kind of is -- Dark Horse Comics recently adapted the saga.

Low-skill mining character Harkani, a.k.a., Haargoth Agamar, a.k.a. the goddamn Kingslayer actually turned out to be one such dissatisfied BoB proprietor. After some wheeling and dealing, he came into contact with The Mittani. Together, the pair devised the wholly original plan to be complete dickbags in the most spectacular way possible. What they lacked in creativity, however, they made up for in scope; they weren't just going to gut Band of Brothers' fleets, or annex their territory -- as had been EVE's status quo until then -- they were going to disappear them.

Despite his dissatisfaction with his alliance, Haargoth had director-level access to the organization's in-game shell corporation, which held the many and varied parts of Band of Brothers together. At any point, with the right motivation, he and a handful of others could simply pull the plug on the whole operation, lowering the defenses on every bit of territory the group owned, and sending communications into disarray across the cosmos. So, yeah. It was kind of a design flaw.

However, before firing his photon torpedoes up the corporation's ventilation shaft, Haargoth (possibly with the forked tongue of The Mittani in his ear) emptied every scrap of building material, ammunition, and spaceworthy hull his former allies owned into his own, private hangar, leaving only a note that read: "The Mittani sends his regards." That's about as close to a Lannister as you can get without incest.