batman

Batman is a lot of things - incredibly rich, super-jacked, real good at beating up strangers and clowns - but one thing he ISN'T is a tragic figure. Sure, he was orphaned at a young age, but in the most IDEAL CIRCUMSTANCES POSSIBLE. Despite living in an infamously poor, crime-ridden city, he was a member of pretty much the ONLY rich family around (at the very least, the RICHEST of the rich), and had a butler acting as his surrogate dad for the rest of his life (along with the normal butler duties). This kid's parent-less life was more stable and fulfilling than pretty much any other kid in Gotham who DID have parents, let alone the orphans who were poor and had to deal with the harsh realities of being on your own.

And what does Bruce Wayne do with his miraculous good fortune? He decides to dress up like a damn black ops furry and punch random street thugs at night. He spends millions outfitting himself with armor and cars and a secret cave-lab and all sorts of gadgets, instead of donating his money to charity, where it might actually do some good.

So the next time you think Batman's life is "dark" or "tragic," just remember he's some dumb spoiled rich kid who dresses like a leather-daddy bat.