Hey dude, if the title didn't clue you in, this stuff is pretty NSFW. Not like the "Image you found on Reddit featuring a girl with ample cleavage" sort of questionable. We're talking more like the "Under no circumstances would you want your mom catching you looking at this" kind of NSFW. You've been warned! 


7. Car crash fetishists find an entirely new orifice

crash sex scene

About a decade before 2004's Crash, the melodramatic Best Picture winner that everyone is sort of ashamed to have liked, there was another movie with the same name. Directed by noted sadist and fleshgun enthusiast David Cronenberg, the 1996 Crash centered around the lives of people who were into car crashes. Like really, really into car crashes. 

When the sex-crazed James Spader collides with another vehicle in the opening minutes of the movie, he's shocked to see Holly "Holy Shit It's Elastigirl" Hunter getting herself off in the immediate aftermath -- despite the fact that her passenger has just flown through two separate windshields. Spader, in an open marriage because you sort of assume that about all of his characters, strikes up a relationship with Hunter based on the sexually-charged shared experience. 

What follows is a perverse and twisted odyssey as Spader explores his newfound fascination with violent wrecks, eventually finding others that share his kink. It gets to the point where Spadey starts fetishizing even the post-crash car damage. Look at him here:

Fleshy Ultron here is getting a chubby merely at the thought of that torn car door -- all because it vaguely resembles a vagina. If you think that's some film school nonsense and we're just reading too much into nothing, just wait. There's hard evidence of this symbolism, but you might regret seeing it.

See, later on in the movie Spader meets a lady whose legs are in Young Forrest Gump-grade braces after an auto accident. Our Blacklist creepazoid is pretty turned on by her injuries, especially the vulva-esque scar she's got on her thigh. So obviously, the only course of action here is to stick his dick in her leg wound

You know what else looks like a vagina, Spader? Actual fucking vaginas. I'd go so far as to wager that lady even owns a perfectly functional cock socket that is in fact intended for phallic penetration. 

Then again, just because something has sex parts doesn't mean you have the all-clear...


6. Adrien Brody bangs his infant lab experiment daughter


Remember Adrian Brody? You know, the guy who won an Academy Award for that Holocaust movie. He even had that infamous smooch with Halle Berry when he was accepting his award. If you thought that was a tad on the creepy side, Brody has done way worse.

In Splice, Brody plays one of two scientists who are secretly raising an ill-advised genetic experiment that they've named Dren. The specimen would look human, if it weren't for the monkeyhorse legs, long tail (complete with stinger) and bulging pug eyes. As Dren grows at a rapid rate, she displays a level of intelligence close to that of a human's, but with a wild undercurrent.

However freakish such a human-animal hybrid might appear, Dren is evidently not below Brody's standards.

To be fair, Dren is the one that comes onto Brody, who refuses for all of two seconds before he decides "There is actually no downside to this." It should be noted that Brody and his lab partner have raised this creature themselves, in secret. Dren is functionally Brody's daughter, for all intents and purposes. Hell, earlier in the movie, Dren looked like this:


Thanks to an incredible growth and maturation rate, Dren was a baby about three months before Brody decided to have sex with her. Unfazed by the possibility of being called "super gross" and/or "morally reprehensible," Brody proceeded to fuck his lab experiment child. Maybe he's got a wing fetish.

If it helps, the movie ends with Dren dying, then coming back as a male and murdering Brody; Dren then impregnates Brody's lab partner and dies again. Real shame this movie isn't on Netflix.