15. Cars 2

cars 2

Don't act surprised. Nobody liked Cars so we weren't thrilled about Part 2. I appreciate that Cars 2 drifted to Tokyo Fast and Furious style, but Tow Mater wasn't even funny in his proper cultural context! He's actually painful to watch when he's gobbling wasabi and making jokes about hotel porn. Here's the rule: Pixar shouldn't make sequels unless they're Toy Story sequels.

 

14. Monsters University

Mike and Sully's origin story is an intriguing premise, but why did this movie champion frat culture? Pixar got to choose what college would look like in their imagined universe of multi-limbed monsters, and the best they could come up with was an Animal House send-up? Children deserve a more accurate depiction of college than a constant barrage of alcohol-fueled parties. A more accurate depiction would be something like: Watching all of Monsters Inc on your bed with your crush because you're both too afraid to make a move.

 

13. Cars

If you're mad that Cars is so low on this list, you're definitely under the age of ten and should not be reading this goddamn shit-crazy site. Kids ate this movie up. Turns out, children love watching a race car learn about modesty. But I - and all other adults, I assume - found the recently-released behind the scenes videos documenting the animators' confusion about how to draw cars performing normal tasks like holding a map more entertaining than the actual movie.

 

12. Toy Story 2

Look, no offense to Toy Story 2, but it didn't do much beyond introducing Jessie. The second installment of any good trilogy is always a risk. Either you get The Dark Knight or Die Hard 2. And the film's villain, Stinky Pete, paled in comparison to Lotso, who had a rich backstory and complicated motives.

Also, what does Pixar have against passionate toy collectors? Most adult toy collectors go about their business in a respectable way, like scamming other adult toy collectors on the internet.

 

11. A Bug's Life

The funniest part of A Bug's Life were the fake "bloopers" the animators made for the credits, which showed the insect actors flubbing their lines or missing their cues.

The story was endearing, but it had one glaring issue: The hero, Flik, was a total dick. The ants were right to throw him out of their colony. All he cared about were his stupid inventions. You can't be an individualist in an ant colony. That defeats the entire purpose! I'm sure this movie offended any ants who watched it.

 

 

If you haven't exed out of this article yet, keep reading to find out 10 - 6!