1. Commander

    Okay guys. The Zerg rush is coming faster than we thought. I'm going to need four guys-quick!

  2. Pause.

  3. Commander

    Hello? Guys in the barracks?

  4. Marine

    I won't shoot anyone until I get some minerals.

  5. Commander

    What?

  6. Marauder

    Me too! And I want gas.

  7. Commander

    Why do you want-

  8. Marauder

    I require more vespene gas.

  9. Commander

    That makes no sense. And how do you want me to deliver you gas? And why?

  10. Marine

    Fact is we need minerals.

  11. Commander

    We are all going to die if you don't shoot them.

  12. Marine

    You gonna give me orders?

  13. Commander

    Yes! Stop asking that! Look, there are literally tens of thousands minerals on this map, can you just kill them all and go get stuff later?

  14. Marine

    No.

  15. Commander

    Fine. How many minerals?

  16. Marine

    Fifty.

  17. Commander

    Okay, I have 200. Come on, four guys! Let's go!

  18. Marine

    Wait! One at a time. Sometimes two. Union stuff.

  19. Commander

    Come on!

  20. Marine

    Hold on! I need thirty seconds to be trained!

  21. Commander

    That is way too long! Also way, way not enough training. Somehow it's a disaster in both directions. All cause of your stupid union and minerals. It makes no sense! Forget the minerals!

  22. Marine

    Why can't you just send in the SCV's? They're armored cutting machines.

  23. Commander

    But they'll all die! And then we won't be able to get…any…

  24. Marine

    …

  25. Commander

    uh…

  26. Marine

    You lying bastard.