5. Mario is the only thing keeping Luigi from destroying the world

mario and luigi

Over the years, Mario's personality has remained pretty simple; in almost every context, he's the "stoic player stand-in," or at best, "horrific Italian stereotype." Luigi, on the other hand, has developed several traits that set him apart from his big bro. Granted, most of his characterization involves his cowardice and anxiety about living in Mario's shadow, but several RPGs have expanded Luigi in other ways. Namely, the fact that Luigi is incredibly dangerous and Mario is the only thing standing between him and an unstoppable wave of destruction.

We know Luigi is capable of evil, because we saw this alter-ego in Super Paper Mario. 

It might be a bit unfair to blame Luigi for his actions, Mr. L was a result of brainwashing (and presumably raiding the Hamburglar's wardrobe). But it does show that Luigi is weak-willed and easily-manipulated. 

Even when Luigi is lucid, he's still a threat. In Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door, the player runs into Luigi several times. Each time you see him, he has new stories about his own adventure running parallel to your own, like there's whole other video game story happening at the same time. The main difference being that Luigi is the hero of his story, which leads to some... complications.

mario luigi

When you ask Luigi's companions about their exploits, they tell a different version of the story, one rife with incompetence and unintended property damage. Even though Luigi means well, his adventures are carving a wide swath of destruction across the Mushroom Kingdom and beyond. If this is what Luigi is doing with good intentions, imagine what he would be capable of if he actually tried to hurt someone.

To most, he's just a taller Mario with a weird floaty jump, but Luigi has amassed an impressive set of strange but formidable powers. In Mario and Luigi: Dream Team, Luigi is somehow the only one who can connect to the dream world. 

In the prequel Mario and Luigi: Partners in time, the magical Star Gate senses a darkness in Luigi, and decides it would be best for the universe if he wasn't allowed through the doors. The gang only proceeds after finding the Aurora Block, which can grow as big as the heart of the person who uses it.

To recap: Luigi is dangerous even when he means well, is capable of incredible and inexplicable supernatural acts (including the ability to crush himself with his own heart), and is also easily brainwashed by anyone with as much as a Game Genie.

No wonder he's always hanging around with Mario. Without his big bro, Luigi would inevitably fly off the chain. All of his worst attributes would snowball, and the resulting disaster would be way worse than a common kidnapping. Some people are just better off staying Player 2.

 


4. The Skyrim Apocalypse Will Be Brought About By... Bug Jars

skyrim apocalypse

It's not news: People are still playing Skyrim. At this very moment, thousands of people are exploring that mountainous corner of Tamriel, adding to their ever-growing hoard of dragon bones and cheese wheels. Almost from the very start, fans have been mystified with one thing in particular: The bug jars. 

skyrim bug jar

Scattered across the land of Skyrim are five glass jars. Inside these jars are five different insects: a butterfly, a torchbug, a dragonfly, a moth and a bee. Each of these five bug jars feature a different set of runes carved into the lid. Over time, fans have dug into the meaning of these jars, their locations and the runes themselves, and have come to the only sane conclusion: These bugs are part of a bizarre and powerful summoning ritual that will bring an end to mankind. 

There's way too many details and variations on the story to cover everything here, but one of the most interesting permutations of the theory has to do with a huge transmutation circle across the entire map of Skyrim. Cue the classic Conspiracy Photoshop:

skyrim apocalypse

The five major cities of Skyrim make a pentagon. Inside that pentagon is yet another pentagon, made up of the three dragon sanctuaries, the Dwemer ruin Mzinchaleft and the Tower Stone. In the middle of this miles-wide transmutation circle is a shrine to Talos. Supposedly the ritual involves killing all the dragons, placing the bugs in their corresponding cities (as evidenced by their runes) and then activating the Tower Stone. After that, the "Promised Day" would come, along with the apocalypse, presumably followed by the events of Kirby 64. 

This all sounds pretty improbably and yeah, the internet might be looking a little too hard at some bug jars -- but remember, this is the same world in which all of the dwarves vanished without a trace. Bethesda has always been about filling their world to the brim with meticulous details that no one would notice, like the Thieves Guild markings on every single house in Skyrim.  When it comes to these games, anything is possible, up to and including the world being destroyed by a moth.