7. Kirby once roamed an apocalyptic Earth

kirby apocalypse

Nintendo has a wide array of colorful characters, but none is more joyous than Kirby. Though most games in the series involve the pink blob swallowing his enemies and instantly ingesting them to gain their powers, the way he does it is just so dang cute. He's just a big fluffy pillow with eyes! And also a deadly, toothless maw.

Kirby brings that bright and happy energy to everything he touches, but his games aren't always without a dark side. In Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards, there's a level called Shiver Star. Though at first glance, it's just yet another random fantasy planet filled with levels for Kirby to waddle his way through, but then you look closer...

kirby shiver star

Yeah, Shiver Star is clearly the same planet that you are currently sitting on, complete with a single moon. The key difference here is that Shiver Star appears to be completely covered in ice. You'd think that this could mean that Kirby 64 takes place in the distant past, maybe during one of Earth's Ice Ages -- but it soon becomes evident that Kirby won't be teaming up with any wooly mammoths voiced by Ray Romano. 

In the middle of conquering this mysterious planet, Kirby stumbles across a factory. The entirety of the facility seems to be in working order, with gears and conveyor belts humming along like clockwork. There are no humans to be found anywhere, so it would seem that the factory itself is autonomous, its moving parts forever working towards an unknown goal. Of course, the paltry security squad on deck is no match for the Kirby's bottomless hunger. 

A self-sustaining factory doesn't in and of itself prove the non-existence of humans, but earlier in the world Kirby comes across a place where one normally finds a number of humans: A shopping mall. 

kirby shiver star

While there are a few robot sentries patrolling the walkways and keeping potential loiterers out of the Orange Julius, otherwise the mall appears to be completely abandoned. 

There's no other explanation. Most or all of the world's humans are dead, victims of what might possibly be a nuclear holocaust. All that remains are the robots humanity left behind, the same servants who probably dispensed of their masters' corpses when they finally expired. Shiver Star is basically a mausoleum for all of mankind. With that, Kirby 64 has officially beaten out Zelda: Majora's Mask as the most depressing Nintendo 64 game ever.

 

6. Bloodborne players have been drinking menstrual blood this whole time

bloodborne

No one is suprised that Bloodborne involves a lot of blood. It's in the name on the box; if there weren't fountains of crimson bodily fluids, gamers would probably riot and/or write really nasty comments on a Change.org petition. Besides making it look extra cool when you slice into a zombie dog, everyone in Bloodborne drinks the red stuff all the time -- at its basic level, it comes in vials that act like a healing potion. Drinking blood is pretty gnarly as it is, but it's more disturbing when you realize that it's menstrual blood.

Though it's never explicitly stated, fans have come up with a lot of evidence to support this super-icky hypothesis. For instance, the characters in the game that give you special blood vials happen to be exclusively female.

bloodborne

Arianna, here, is a special case; she stops supplying you with (again, menstrual) blood vials when she becomes pregnant. Another fan noted that you don't get any vials from an old woman -- possibly due to menopause. 

Even though this is the first game in the series, the lore is chock-full of references to that time of the month. The Healing Church are known for picking out particular women to be "vessels for blood" as "Blood Saints." There's an item called the Mensis Cage, a boss called the Mensis Brain and an area called The Nightmare of Mensis. 

bloodborne

They're not trying to hide it: "Mensis" is incredibly close to "Menses," which is Latin for menstruation. There's no escaping the validity of this theory. Period.

This revelation makes you look at everything in the game in a different light. Try looking at the Blood Stone shards now:

bloodborne

What do those remind you of? Hint: The correct response is "Oh my god I've been upgrading my weapons with the used tampons of the dead." 

If you dudes are feeling a little left out, don't worry! The Blood Dreg item strongly resembles a smattering of sperm swimming in blood. 

bloodborne blood dreg

There are two things you can do with a Blood Dreg. You can consume them to raise your stats (and presumably get your daily dose of protein), or you can hand them into Queen Annalise. What does she want with a handful of gothic spooge? Well, according to the game: "Queen Annalise partakes in these blood dreg offerings, so that she may one day bear the Child of Blood, the next Vileblood heir." Considering what she'd have to do with the Blood Dregs to concieve that kid, maybe she'd be better off just getting a dog.