The last time we explored the sexual exploits of superheroes, several readers cried foul over the exclusion of this bombastic love scene from The Dark Knight Strikes Again. So here it is, you lovable deviants.
Everyone assumes that Superman and Wonder Woman would get together at some point. You might think that the pair would prefer tasteful PG-13 lovemaking between silk sheets in the Fortress of Solitude, but this is a Frank Miller comic. Clark and Diana consummate their relationship in nothing less than an epic, five-page megabang. Using the power of flight and superstrength, they manage to fuck each other up into the stratosphere.
And then they come crashing down.
Wow. Unlike Buffy the Vampire Slayer (who had the decency to sex-bomb into an unoccupied mountainside), Superman and Wonder Woman's roll in the hay shook the whole goddamned world. People are panicking, volcanoes are exploding and an entire aircraft carrier was capsized -- all so a couple of capes could get off. They could have at least gone to Antarctica or I don't know, the fucking moon if they were intent on playing rough.
People were driven from their homes, a state of emergency was declared and thousands of people probably died. But hey, at least Wonder Woman came.
Poor Harley Quinn hasn't had a ton of luck getting in the sack with her Puddin'. The Joker doesn't have time to sate the desires of a glorified henchman, not when there's a Batman out there that doesn't love him yet.
You can feel this pent-up sexual frustration eking though to Harley's friendship with Poison Ivy. But even taking into consideration that the two are implied to be "more than friends," Pam really should have known what was coming when Harley asked if she wanted to "meet my beaver."
You can see how disappointed Ivy is; instead of finally consummating their long-gestating romantic relationship, Harley reveals that the beaver in question is in fact a stuffed and mounted woodland critter.
Teases aside, HQ has had the odd fling with unclowns. Just a few years ago, she shared a brief moment with Deadshot of the Suicide Squad.
I'm not a smart man, but I know what a dirty joke is, and "This reminds me of a joke about a clown car" is indecipherable as far as gags go. The only conclusion to be made is that the clown car is in reference to her vagina, but it's unclear as to how it resembles an absurd amount of children's entertainers piling into and/or emerging from a comically tiny vehicle. "Multiple Dick Disorder" is in fact not on the Deadshot's wiki page under Powers and Abilities, so unless Harley is thinking of a joke wherein one clown repeatedly enters and exits the same car, I'm at a loss.
If you can possibly think of the clown car joke that reminds Harley of her vagina, please post it in the comments so that we may all be illuminated. Until then, we should probably check in on Deadpool...