8. Samurai Jack and the Powerpuff Girls' horrifying secret crossover

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Along with Dexter's Laboratory, the Powerpuff Girls and Samurai Jack were creations of animation mastermind Genndy Tartakovsky, and as such are often taken together as a bright spot in Cartoon Network's catalogue. Winks or nods between the shows might seem welcome and even expected, but any such easter eggs would have some dire implications. 

As you may remember, Samurai Jack revolves around a warrior who is banished to the future by a demon named Aku. In the very first episode, we see a post-apocalyptic cityscape...

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...that bears an uncanny resemblance to Townsville. As in, the city that the Powerpuff Girls call home.

current townsville 

If you think that's too ambiguous, Jack passes an old sign for Talking Dog Dog Food...

old townsville

...which is more or less the exact same sign seen previously in Townsville.

current townsville 

It's all but confirmed: Samurai Jack and the Powerpuff Girls take place in the same universe. So what? Well, it's actually fucking terrifying.

Judging by what we're seeing, an unknown calamity hit the city right around the time that the Powerpuff Girls were active. All the buildings look like they're from roughtly the same era. Even that billboard remained up. We can only assume that something awful happened, something that the girls couldn't stop. Maybe Aku teamed up with Mojo Jojo and laid waste to everything. Maybe there was a mass exodus of people sick of giant monster attacks on a bi-weekly basis.

We don't see Blossom, Bubbles or Buttercup in any fashion during Samurai Jack; given the evidence, our best guess has to be that three five year-olds died at the hands of an immortal demon. All in the name of a neat easter egg.


7. Disney's 80 year-old Three Little Pigs cartoon is super messed-up

disney three little pigs

They seem quaint now, but in 1933, the Three Little Pigs were a pretty big deal. It was Disney's biggest animated short ever, and by some metrics, is still the most successful one that's ever been in theaters. A large part of what you can recall of the tale is likely influenced by Disney's fabled interpretation. But there's one detail you probably missed, and it's a doozy.

Examine the picture above the two hopping hogs up there. We can forget for a minute that there are clearly seven suckling piglets, and that four must have perished to Aku in a prequel story. Let's also try to forget how odd it is to have a framed portrait of a mother breastfeeding naked. All we need to take away from that above image is a frame of reference for the insanity below.

disney three little pigs easter egg

In place of what in any other world would be a smiling portrait of good old dad, is a string of cured meats. This is mind-boggling for so many reasons. For one, this means that the three little pigs live in a world where their sentient species lives, grows and dies only to end up as processed food. Even though they've mastered the art of speech, civilization and buttoning their overalls, that's still not good enough to stave off consumption by other beings. 

Even if you accept that this is their hellish reality, the pig -- who we know as the "smart one" since he built his house out of bricks -- saw fit to remember his father this way. Not as he was in life, but as a ground-up tube of flesh prepared for human consumption. And that's not even the only cut in the house!

disney three little pigs easter egg

Imagine if your dad was murdered and sliced into pieces at a butcher shop. In what universe would you want to proudly display his carved shank in your living room?

A song featured prominently in the Three Little Pigs begs the question "Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" A more accurate song might be titled: "Who's Afraid of the Three Little Pigs? You Probably Should Be, They're Pretty Much Cannibal Dexters."

 

6. Disney's obsession with the Illuminati

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Depending on who you ask, the Illuminati are a short-lived Bavarian group, the shadow government responsible for 9/11 or a group of asshole superheroes led by Iron Man and Mr. Fantastic. In most every iteration, the Illuminati is a bad scene. It's not a great idea to expose children to the farcical idea of a seedy secret society (unless it's watching that Stonecutters episode of The Simpsons), and yet various Disney programs have made it a point to reference multiple times over the years. For instance, in the pictured episode of DuckTales, a sight chart can be seen that spells out "Ask About Illuminati." To show it's not a coincidence, here it is again from a different angle.

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That's clearly an redrawn chart with the exact same letters (with an extra "U," for reasons unknown). This was purposeful. Someone drew that, it got through editing and made its way through decades of reruns without anyone batting an All-Seeing Eye. 

Speaking of the symbol of the Illuminati, that gleaming pupil shows up on a skateboard in Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

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If you think this was unintentional, just remember this is the same show that gave you the a scavenger hunt for a triangle bush.

Not satisfied? Okay, how about this chalkboard in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody:

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To be clear, there's no doubt that this is the work of random crew members having a bit of fun with the conspiracy nuts out there, planting fake "evidence" for internet dickheads to argue over. It's just really bizarre that Disney has chosen to wage their war against the paranoid within their childrens' programming. Come on guys, we really don't need any more grown men poring over every inch of the Disney Channel.