3. Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle

One of the most recent trends in the Steam store is the sudden proliferation of anime boobs. Traditionally, concepts like comfort, security, companionship, beauty and attraction are tough to convey in a character design... unless you slap on a pair of anime gazongas, then you've pretty much got it all covered. It's a lot like adding sriracha to your meal, it's easy, makes things more palatable, and single white dudes are way too into it. 

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This one immediately caught my eye among the bloat of PG-13 dating sims with its  promise of "23 different sexy girls to choose from". So consumed with desire, I barely noticed the 14.99 asking price as I booted up the game, took off my comically large cargo shorts and prepared for a sensual experience...

 

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Wait, what the hell is this? Why is this sexy Mahjong game just... Mahjong? I can't even look around and gawk at my opponents. This is already a terrible, terrible mistake. Maybe I'll just click on random tiles until something happens?

 

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"EEEEEyaaaah" squeels my H-Cup high school sophomore avatar. Hooray! I did a thing! So far that was exactly 2 seconds of sexiness. Let's see what happens if I keep playing (by which I mean "randomly clicking on rectangles").

 

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I think I won... somehow.

You know what, Mahjong Pretty Girls Battle? While you may not have been sexually satisfying, you did fulfill my fantasy of being a 16-year old mahjong prodigy with a host of lower back problems. Plus, you are way cheaper than a full set of tiles and 23 prints of sexy anime girls. Now let's quickly delete this forever so my Steam friends don't think I'm even more of a weirdo than they already do. 

 

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