Fair warning: We're going to be talking SPOILERS for every Marvel movie that came out before Avengers: Age of Ultron.

 

5. We already saw Star-Lord's dad in Guardians of the Galaxy

undefined

Guardians of the Galaxy begins and ends with the mystery of Star-Lord's father. We know for sure that Mrs. Quill is a dead human, but Space Cop Glenn Close makes it clear that Peter's pops is most certainly not from this Earth. So what kind of bloodline would allow Star-Lord to survive touching an Infinity Stone and selflessly share an oxygen mask in slow-motion while floating in the vacuum of space?

We can rule a couple aliens out. Yondu is not a likely candidate, or we'd see at least a hint of Blue Murder Smurf in Peter's skin pigment. Thanos doesn't seem the type to Zeus it up with frisky mortals on a backwater cesspool like Earth. And having sex with one of Groot's species seems like a great way to quickly grind away your genitals.

If not them, then who's backstage waiting on the paternity test in this intergalactic episode of Maury? Let's bring him out:

undefined

No, not Pepto Bismol on the left -- we're talking about the hulking cocoon, seen in The Collector's trophy room. Midway through the movie, you can see it right next to other comics callbacks like a Chitauri soldier and Cosmo the adorable astronaut dog. See, historically that chrysalis has belonged to a relatively obscure cosmic character named Adam Warlock

undefined

Though he looks like a Super Saiyan Dracula, Adam Warlock is an incredibly powerful being capable of creating wormholes and flying faster than light. He's more than powerful enough to imbue his offspring with sizable power. Plus, Warlock has a history with the Infinity Stones, having played a central role in defeating Thanos in the original Infinity Gauntlet comics.

With that kind of set-up, you'd think that the post-credits scene would have involved the cocoon cracking open, but instead we got Howard the Duck.

undefined

...but if you look behind him, you can see what appears to be the remnants of a broken cocoon.

Though Adam Warlock isn't a father in the comics, the Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn has already come out and said that Star-Lord's dad won't match up with the original material. It would seem like Warlock could be in play for the next Guardians movie, but then again, he's known for having an Infinity Stone lodged in his forehead -- a distinction that now belongs to someone completely different, thanks to Avengers: Age of Ultron. 

We're all gonna feel so silly when Star-Lord's dad turns out to be Kevin Bacon.

 

4. Loki wanted to lose in The Avengers

undefined

Loki is kind of like an evil Batman with magic powers; you can be sure that he's always a dozen steps ahead of his enemies, and whatever he's up to probably isn't good for anyone but him. Even when you think you've beaten Loki, the odds are he's exactly where he wants to be. Remember when he pulled a Joker in the Avengers and got caught on purpose? 

undefined

We assume the Avengers foiled his plans because the planet is not currently under the tyrannical reign of a trickster god. But in the original Thor movie, Loki was after the throne of Asgard; are we to believe he's since decided to steer the yoke of billions of puny humans just because they make some killer shawarma? No, he probably wanted to get back to Asgard -- with the Tesseract -- and bide his time until he made his next move.

Hell, Loki spends much of Thor 2 in a cell, just like he did in the Avengers. Seems pretty chill about it, too.

Loki's always playing an angle, and if he's incarcerated himself on purpose once, you can bet he'd be willing to do it again. Really, he probably even worked out that Malekith would come after the Aether, since it was clear that Infinity Stones were becoming all the rage. All he had to do was wait for the right moment to strike. 

It seems to have worked out for him. At the end of Thor 2, Loki is disguised as his own father, sitting on the throne of Asgard -- which is exactly what he's wanted since the first Thor movie.

Though it might seem that he's achieved his main goal, the throne is probably only the first part of Loki's endgame. You know, besides conquering Tumblr.