5. Robot vaginas and nasal cavities


Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt is a unique anime in that it doesn't look much like anime at all. You might say it's the reverse of Avatar: The Last Airbender, being Japanese animation that looks like it came from Nickelodeon. The story revolves around two angels cast down from heaven, and their wacky misadventures in the world of mortal men.

As you might have guessed, the show is mostly played for laughs; there's even an entire episode dedicated to a Transformers parody. That's where the robot vaginas come in. 

It's unclear as to what would happen if that flathead screwdriver penis completely unscrewed that robot vagina, but odds are we don't want anime to answer to that question.

That's pretty tame, as far as PSG goes. In another episode, nose-picking becomes the hot new trend in self-pleasure. Every character on-screen has one digit ensconced firmly in their nostril, moaning along with their nasal wanking. It gets particularly intense when people start turning to others to sate their horny nosegoblins.

Of course, anyone who remembers picking their nose knows what happens if you're too rigorous in your mucus mining.


Yep, someone in this anime just broke their "nasal hymen." And that snapping sound you just heard in your brain? That was your "logic hymen" breaking in half. Hope you used it while you had it, because it'll never grow back.


4. Toothbrush incest


It's impossible to talk about this scene without grasping your face and letting out an exasperated sigh that says: "Maybe every human should be dead." Those entrenched in the anime scene may already be familiar with Nisemonogatari, a show that centers on a boy named Koyomi Araragi, the victim of a recent vampire attack. But the supernatural has nothing to do with one of the most messed up scenes in anime history. 

It starts when the Koyomi is arguing with his sister, Karen; she wants to be introduced to the lascivious Kanbaru, and her big brother has some understandable reservations about that. Finally, Koyomi gives in and says that he'll introduce them for a price: Karen has to survive having her teeth brushed for five whole minutes.

If that sounds weird, buckle up, dude -- this is anime.

What you are seeing is a boy brushing his sister's teeth in such a sensual manner that it approaches sexual arousal. This is toothbrush incest, and if you've just found your fetish, do everyone a favor and find a way sterilize yourself with a stick of Pocky.

Putting aside the Lannister love-in for a second -- has everyone been brushing their teeth wrong all this time? Speaking personally, not once in my illustrious career of dental care have I brushed my teeth in such a fashion that made me sport wood. I get that it's sort of an oral situation, but I can't understand how "bristly pencil-sized stick scrubbing your teeth" could put someone in the mood.

Even more unbelievable? Koyomi doesn't even know what's happening until his rubber sex robot of a sister has been quivering in his arms for some time

Just when you think this show would leave it all to subtext, this happens.

Freedom of speech is great and everything, but after this, I think we can all agree that anime should be illegal.