ThinkGeek, the internet's number-one source for caffeinated bacon candy and t-shirts that require batteries has once again revealed a line of bizarre goods for April Fools' Day. But after 15(!) years of these shenanigans an alarming trend has emerged. A LOT OF THESE JOKES HAVE BECOME ACTUAL REAL LIFE THINGS.
Take for instance the "Tauntaun Sleeping Bag"
or perhaps you'd prefer a can of "Unicorn Meat" instead?
These "jokes" are among the many ridiculous items that made their way onto the credit card statements of nerds across the globe. So for their 2015 offerings one question remains, which of these goofy knick-knacks am I going to find in my friends' apartments six months from now?
Why It Could Be Real: PC Gaming stands at the precipice of a revolution if the Steam OS ecosystem succeeds in their push to take over the living room. The steampunk aesthetic of brass and wood definitely sets this machine apart and could one day become a collector's item.
Why It Might Not: A steam turbine of this size would only be able to generate a few watts of power, which means that the console would need to use ARM-based processor architectures, which would struggle to maintain proper resolution and framerate for demanding AAA releases. Nice try!
Why It Could Be Real: If we're looking at the key demographics of someone who shops at ThinkGeek, it's people with a lot of disposable income, who needs to fill their house with stuff, that have fond memories of the 1980's. That's pretty much the same population as "people who own more than one cat".
Why It Might Not: Cats are ungrateful assholes that will wait until you're done building the whole thing, then just play in the cardboard box that it came in.
Why It Could Be Real: It's been a while since the Internet had a good "pirate zombie monkey ninjas"-style repeatable joke that everyone drives into the ground, and "Hodor says Hodor a lot" is primed to take the crown.
Why It Might Not: Even the person who thought of it has to admit that this gag would be funny for precisely .02 seconds at most.
Why It Could Be Real: This is definitely real. Marvel movies, puns, caffeine. It checks too many boxes and there are tons of "white label" sodas and energy shots that they can easily slap a label on. I could do it myself right now if it weren't for the fact that I'm incredibly lazy and bad at marketing and I'd probably call it "Mr. Tree's Chug Juice".
Why It Might Not: Pouring a citrus/berry energy shot into a root beer? That will probably taste like total butts. Yes, even by "novelty energy drink" standards.
Why It Could Be Real: It looks like a fun hack that could get some interesting results. Great for parties or obsessively judging your new haircut.
Why It Might Not: It's literally a hula hoop with 12 GoPros clamped onto it. Oh, and some mop handles.
Why It Could Be Real: There is no toy that summons more desire and regret than Power Wheels. For most us, they were an impossible dream, a gateway to independence and joy that our meager parents could never afford. Yet the wealthy children who COULD chug along on those chariots of D batteries knew the horrible secret, they were super slow and lame. The fact that they're styled after the new Mad Max film (that is looking more radical each passing second) only adds to the buzz.
Why It Might Not: The fake asking price of $300 is too low for the amount of plastic pointy whatsits glued to the already pricey toy. Also there's no way the kids in that photo saw Beyond Thunderdome.
Why It Could Be Real: It's an interactive adventure that uses your real-world surroundings in a way that AR technology couldn't hope to approach for another decade. An interesting base that will be expanded upon as a new form of party games, fitness programs, and LARPing.
Why It Might Not: Remember when they also tried to sell Laser-Tag hoodies for adults? UGH.