6. The right creative talent

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Make all the lens-flare jokes you want, but JJ. Abrams was a sound choice to start off a new Star Wars trilogy. He's got an eye for characters, but never lets them get wear out their welcome before the next action sequence; Abrams' films are almost always well-paced, so there's a slim chance that we'll have to plod through any laborious senate hearing scenes. That, and he seems to have his priorities in order when it comes to practical effects and CGI. 

The other nice thing about JJ Abrams? He knows how to make Star Wars movies, because he already made two of them. They just starred Kirk and Spock instead of Luke and Leia. 

The other movies have some impressive talent involved, too. Gareth Edwards is helming the one-off Star Wars: Rogue One, having previously directed 2014's Godzilla movie. Though Godzilla was a little disappointing in the story department (I still say Walter White could have beaten the giant dinosaur), Disney has taken care of that with an Oscar-nominated screenwriter. All Edwards has to do is keep being an awesome visual storyteller. 

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And then there's Episode VIII, which will be directed by Rian Johnson. Not only is this the same guy whose first movie was the fantastic high school noir Brick, and the dude who went on to direct Looper, but Johnson is also a veteran of Breaking goddamn Bad. He directed probably the best chapter of the entire series, Ozymandias. Remember that one? It's the episode where everyone is in the desert and-- I shouldn't have to tell you this. You are caught up, right?

Anyway, you know you did a good job directing an episode of Breaking Bad when the creator of the show says it's his favorite

If Disney only cared about making toys, then they'd probably give the movies to Michael Bay or M. Night Shamaylan or Michael Bay. But by seeking out directors by their qualities and not necessarily their box-office legacies, Disney is actually giving these new Star Wars movies a chance to be more than the cross-media marketing juggernauts they were always going to be anyway. And the toys will still sell a shitload.

 

5. Disney's fast schedule is not messing around

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It's been almost 40 years since the original Star Wars movie came out. Yes, you're old and the next time you look in the mirror you won't recognize the sullen wrinkled husk that gazes from the void back into your fading ember of a soul, but the important thing to take from that is we're averaging one Star Wars movie every six or seven years. That is not enough Star Wars movies, especially when half of them blow Bantha balls. 

I wouldn't blame you for being skeptical at the idea of Disney making a Star Wars movie every year. It's reasonable to come to the conclusion that frequent releases would ruin the excitement and awe of a new entry in the series. Remember how fucking hyped you were for Episode I after you saw the trailer? 

But that's just the thing. Weirdo prequel cultists aside, it's hard to deny that The Phantom Menace wasn't disappointing. But it didn't stop there. After that, we had three whole years of hoping that Attack of the Clones would be better, that it would be like Luke Skywalker atoning for the sins of its father. Instead, Episode II turned out to be more like baby Boba Fett, holding his father's decapitated head and wondering what the hell just happened. 

By making Star Wars movies more common, they become less of an event, but it also won't be like pouring Draino over your childhood if they happen to suck. With a regular release schedule, you can finally see Star Wars movies without being blinded by your impish glee. If that's at all possible when lightsabers are involved.