If you had to boil down what Valentine's Day was all about - what would you say? Love? Romance? Having a really expensive dinner, followed by some really anticlimactic sex?

Wrong. To Nintendo, Valentine's Day is all about...friendship? Like, reminding people that you're pretty good friends. Or something.

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Really not sure what to take away from this - you can't even get out of the friendzone with Luigi. Hell, even Bowser doesn't consider you worth antagonizing - he's just reminding us all that a strong friendship is valuable. Donkey Kong is just a fan of the concept of being friends, although not necessarily meaning he wants to be friends with you.

 

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The Kirby ones are equally odd - Kirby threatens to absorb your friendship, thus killing it and stealing its essence (or whatever Kirby does with the stuff he sucks). there's a stationary tree that promises to never "leaf" you, although I'm not sure whether it even has a choice.

 

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Yoshi...not sure what to make of this. He's claiming I'm a good egg while shitting out a different egg that he'll probably chuck at some random bad guy. I just don't think Yoshi actually values his eggs that much.

 

 

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And, of course, the one Valentine's card that comes the closest to any actual romantic interest is Tingle's. Of course.

Also, Ganondorf's seems to legitimately be a threat. Bowser was chill, you can be too, dude.