If you had to boil down what Valentine's Day was all about - what would you say? Love? Romance? Having a really expensive dinner, followed by some really anticlimactic sex?
Wrong. To Nintendo, Valentine's Day is all about...friendship? Like, reminding people that you're pretty good friends. Or something.
Really not sure what to take away from this - you can't even get out of the friendzone with Luigi. Hell, even Bowser doesn't consider you worth antagonizing - he's just reminding us all that a strong friendship is valuable. Donkey Kong is just a fan of the concept of being friends, although not necessarily meaning he wants to be friends with you.
The Kirby ones are equally odd - Kirby threatens to absorb your friendship, thus killing it and stealing its essence (or whatever Kirby does with the stuff he sucks). there's a stationary tree that promises to never "leaf" you, although I'm not sure whether it even has a choice.
Yoshi...not sure what to make of this. He's claiming I'm a good egg while shitting out a different egg that he'll probably chuck at some random bad guy. I just don't think Yoshi actually values his eggs that much.
And, of course, the one Valentine's card that comes the closest to any actual romantic interest is Tingle's. Of course.
Also, Ganondorf's seems to legitimately be a threat. Bowser was chill, you can be too, dude.