NO. NOOOOO. Wha...why?? STOP SMILING.
You can have a mustache, or you can have a beard - but GOATEE? No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
FUUUUUUCK NOOOOOOOOOOO. WHY. IT LOOKS LIKE ZACH GALIFIANAKIS FELL INTO THE CHEMICAL VAT THAT MADE THE JOKER. GAHHHH MAKE IT STOP.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO. NECKBEARD?! JESUS CHRIST NO WHY FUCK
SEXY-EYE REBEL WITH EARRINGS AND SIDEBURNS?! NO. WHAT. HOW. GAHHHH.
THIS IS MAKING ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE
Bleach-blonde AND a goatee? NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO
HE'S SO YOUTHFUL AND CLEAN-SHAVEN. TOO YOUTHFUL! TOO CLEAN-SHAVEN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
WHAT THE CHRIST actually wow he was a pretty good-looking dude, huh? Sorta reminiscent of present-day Chris Pratt, but with radder eyebrows. Maybe I just need to accept that people can look however they choos-