1. Nick Offerman

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You probably know Nick Offerman from his role as The Epitome of Manhood on Parks & Recreation (and the last thing in the universe that can talk about bacon all the time without coming across like an annoying meme-spouting asshole. WE GET IT, INTERNET, BACON IS GOOD, NOW MOVE ON). But before his role as a sentient mustache, Nick Offerman was a working actor for decades - popping up in some of your favorite TV shows WITHOUT YOU EVEN REALIZING IT.

 

24

Remember season 2 of 24? It was a simpler time - when there was only ONE nuke Jack Bauer was contending with, when that insurance commercial guy was the stern but boring president, and the show was still figuring out how to make good on its insane premise, resorting to plotlines involving mountain lions and racist hicks causing World War III....and the most pivotal racist hick who was about to plunge America into a not-so-subtle Iraq War 2.0 was none other than Nick Offerman.

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Yep - Nick Offerman was the denim-clad racist dude who beat the One Nice Muslim 24 had that season with a brick, tried robbing Jack Bauer's girlfriend, and was responsible for damaging a computer chip that contained evidence that the United States was being tricked into going to war with the Middle East. Also - no mustache. And Nick Offerman without a mustache is a VERY upsetting sight.

 

Gilmore Girls

The erstwhile Swanson was also in an episode of a show I'm TOTALLY not into at all (despite what my colleagues will tell you), Gilmore Girls - playing an embarrassing redneck cousin of Melissa McCarthy's beau, Jackson.

via adorablycaffeinated

Luckily, he DID have a mustache here. It had that old-timey mustache-wax twirliness, but it's still a little weird to see ol' Duke Silver getting weirdly sexual towards Lauren Graham.

 

The West Wing

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Oh yeah! In The West Wing's first 'Big Block of Cheese' episode (wherein staff members meet with small interest groups not normally given access to the White House), Nick Offerman appeared as one of the proponents of building a highway designated specifically for wolves. Yep - Ron Swanson was SEEKING OUT HELP from the federal government. And the best part? His name was...Jerry.

 

Will & Grace 

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Here's a reminder - before their Ron and Tammy 2 days, Nick Offerman's IRL wife Megan Mullaly was the FAR more successful of the two, starring as the frequently-intoxicated, shrill-voiced socialite Karen on Will & Grace. And in one episode, her IRL (pre-mustache) boyfriend Nick Offerman stopped by to guest as "Nick the Plumber" and briefly hook up with Karen....in just as much of a dysfunctional manner as Ron and Tammy.

via anostalgicnerd

 

Deadwood

WE SAW RON SWANSON'S DICK IN DEADWOOD.

Warning - if you look at this, your genitals (regardless of how you define them) will eternally pale in comparison.

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THAT WOOD? TOTALLY ALIVE. NOT DEAD AT ALL.