5. Surface 2 (Goldeneye 007)


It's sad but true: Goldeneye 007 for the Nintendo 64 is not as good as you remember. Don't get me wrong, in 1997 it was mindblowing, but these days it's kind of hard to get past the blocky characters, fuzzy graphics and rote mission design without some Coke-bottle-sized rose tinted glasses. It might still be fun to dick around in multiplayer, but single-player has definitely seen better days. Keeping that in mind, it's easy to forget that some of the missions were pretty crappy even at the time of release. 

Maybe the worst offenders were the two Surface missions. Surface 1 had you roaming snowy Siberian wastes hunting a few isolated outposts. Enemies were few and far between, so most of the level was just you wading across acres of flat polygonal snow. Surface 2 was the exact same, only now the level was shrouded in darkness.

Finding those stupid towers in pitch black with featureless snow as your only guide was about as fun as using a sea urchin as a shower loofa. Of all the levels that developer Rare could have flipped the day-night switch on, it had to be one of the most ponderous and asinine in the game. 

Really, the best you can say about Surface levels is that they introduced the Siberian Special Forces character (seen in the top image), whose gray suit would act as natural camoflauge in multiplayer matches. He was the secret best character in the game, as long as you're not the kind of monster who picks Oddjob. 


4. The Train Mission (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)


Driving missions in the Grand Theft Auto games are split into two camps: You're either driving a car from point A to point B under various levels of duress and/or gunfire, or you're acting as a human turret, shooting everything while your driver hums along a predetermined path. Do you know what is a terrible idea? Leaving the shooting up to Big Smoke.

Everyone else in GTA games is a master marksman. Cops can waste you from three blocks, but your pal Smoke can't finish a dude off dangling from a train at point blank range. The mission, called The Wrong Side of the Tracks, has you attacking several rival gang members that are trying to escape atop a train; much of the mission involves you chasing down these creeps by driving next to them with your motorcycle. The problem lies in the fact that winning and losing is entirely dependent on your idiotic AI partner.

When you lose (and you will lose), Smoke has the balls to blame you.


I'm sorry, all YOU had to do was shoot four dudes. I know you could have done it, Smoke, because you are actually a part of the video game and can do pretty much anything.

This is one of those mandatory missions that's vital to the story; you can't continue on in the game without beating it. Given the frustrating nature of the mission and the plethora of side activities in GTA games, it's very tempting to just abandon the storyline and go off on your own adventures. Which would normally be fine, but quitting the storyline this early in the game means you'll never get the jetpack, and thus, you'll never truly live.