3. Anastasia melts Rasputin into a radioactive skeleton, which then explodes


You might recall the big animation boom of the 1990s, a result of everyone rushing to replicate Disney's success. This period gave way to putrid and shallow crap like The Pebble and the Penguin and We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story, but there lied a diamond in the rough in the form of Fox Animation's Anastasia.

Besides excellent production values and an all-star cast, Anastasia had a historical hook going for it, being based on the fable of the girl from the Russian royal family who survived her family's execution. Some uptight scholars dispute the way history was portrayed, however, claiming that "Not once did Rasputin sell his soul for a magic artifact," nor did "Anastasia never killed Rasputin by smashing his soul with her foot."

I wrote a group paper on early 20th Century Russia in 5th grade, and though I let everyone else do the work while I tried to evolve my Ditto, I think I can say with confidence that this is exactly how Rasputin met his end. Everyone knows that you melt and explode if someone smashes your magic soul artifact.

So, after Rasputin got struck by magic green lightning, rays of light pierced his body from the inside, and following his skin and organs dissolving into a puddle of goo, his clacking skeleton disintegrated, the remains of which was immediately swept to the wind to be inhaled by the citizens of his motherland. It doesn't get much more brutal than that. 

Well, except that one part in Who Framed Roger Rabbit...


2. Judge Doom traumatizes Roger Rabbit and an entire generation of humans


Christopher Lloyd always seems to play some variation of Doc Brown from Back to the Future, with one terrifying exception: Judge Doom, a ghoulish man made of the spiders that dangle in front of your face, the ones that you don't see until you walk into them. In the movie, Doom is an anti-toon stooge working against Sexy 90s Cartoon Bob Hoskins. Doom relishes in dunking toons in the only thing that can kill them: The Dip. Otherwise known as turpentine (or paint thinner), it's like arsenic for the hand-drawn. 

Needless to say, if you're a toon, you want to stay far, far away from the Judge.

Oh no. Not the shoe. It's done nothing wrong. Its only purpose in life is for someone to stick their smelly foot inside of it while it squeaks like a doggie toy. It can't die! There's still a matching shoe out there that will be lonely and useless without it! 

As much as I cry and plead with Judge Doom, I know there's only one possible outcome.

I imagine government torture chambers are made up of a series of giant monitors, all playing this grisly GIF on an endless loop. It's worse with sound, hearing the poor guy squeal and shiver while his entire existence boils away with a steaming hiss. There won't be any body to bury at the funeral. All that's left is some glove goo.


But there is justice in the world. Judge Doom gets his own unimaginably awful death, worthy of a man who's essentially a living version of the Anti-Life Equation.

Yikes. Something about witnessing the death throes of a dude not at all thrilled with being slowly flattened by a steamroller is extremely disconcerting, even if it's happening to the equivalent of Cartoon Hitler. 

But then again, we know he didn't feel a thing.  

If you remember, Judge Doom is a toon himself, and he'll be quick to sear your eardrums by gargling in assurance that he's "NOT JUST ANY TOOOOON." After finding out that Doom killed his brother, Hoskins takes it upon himself to Dip the Dipper.

It's satisfying to see Doom meet the same terrible fate as his innocent victims, but it doesn't make it any less gruesome. Unlike the shoe, we still have some leftovers in the disguise Doom was using to pass himself off as human.


As screwed up and childhood-ending as this is, there's worse. Much worse.