JAKE YOUNG:


"What Happens When You Battle the Pokemon God"

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Since its introduction in 2006, Arceus (pronounced ARK-SEE-CUH-UUUUU-ESSSS) has been one of the most philosophically confounding Pokemon to ever not-really exist. It's God. It is the literal creator of the Universe and you can force it to live in a ball and keep it in your knapsack. Also, God apparently requires a specifically-colored plate to use ghost-type moves. For the sake of disclosure, I have to admit that getting to voice a cartoon rodent who quotes from the Pokémon bible has been a dream of mine ever since I was an apathetic child in Jewish school.

 

JULIA LEPETIT:

"Lessons That Videogames Have Taught Me"

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It's pretty obvious that I can get real sappy, real fast so it's not a surprise that I emotional over videogames. I've been playing videogames since I was a kid and I actually had to drag myself away from Dragon Age: Inquisition to write this up (that's actually completely true). They've really played a huge part in my life and I wanted to spend some time thinking about why. These posters were more or less the result.

"Why Amelia Bedelia is Literally the Most Terrifying Character Ever"

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I had no idea that this was even being spoken about so to just turn on the site that day and see horrifying Amelia Bedelia really cracked me up. First of all, Andy did an amazing job with drawing it up in the original style and Andrew did a great job letting his terrifying- I mean, wonderfully creative mind go wild. I still have no idea what was going through his head where he thought "I want to write an Amelia Bedelia comic" and did.

"The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is About Your Depressing Life"

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Yeah, okay, so two out of the three comics I chose to highlight were drawn by me. To be fair, the part I liked most about this comic was the writing and not my own art so... don't judge me too hard. Anyway, it's no secret that I'm a huge Zelda fan. I have Zelda toys on my work desk and my home desk, I have a triforce tattoo, and I pretty much jump on drawing any comic that's Zelda related. So take a game a have a lot of fond memories of and make it super depressing? Yeah. Thanks for that, Andrew. Still, I can't argue with his logic. 

 

ANDREW BRIDGMAN

 

"The Complete Guide to 'Twitch Plays Pokemon' (DONE)"

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I don't get Twitch, or any form of Let's Plays in general. I know this is well-tread territory at this point, but I just don't get watching other people play videogames through the internet. What I get even less is TPP, where EVERYONE is playing a videogame through the internet. For about 17 days, this nightmare went on and on, and I made the real dumb decision to try to chronicle it for Dorkly readers who didn't have time to stare at a sprite ram into the same goddamn wall 90 times an hour (in between pauses to check a fossil and spinning around) while a chatlog was a waterfall of incomprehensible in-jokes, memes, and commands.

I learned a few things over the course of this thing: one, that our article editor tool had an HTML character limit (which I hit verrrrry close to the end); two, the internet is vaguely capable of working together, gradually and painfully; and three, it's possible to watch the birth, overuse, and ultimate demise of a meme play out within a single month. つ ◕_◕ ༽つ HAIL HELIX つ ◕_◕ ༽つ 

 

"If Every Villain Had a Personal Assistant"

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Kevin is probably the funniest and most normal name for anyone in a supernatural situation, which is why it felt like the perfect name for Voldemort's secret, unseen, plothole-seein' personal assistant. Anna-Maria Jung drew the first and third one, and the rest were done by the extremely helpful Tony Wilson. And I really like Kevin! It's really one of our very very few continuing comic characters, and I like having a broad enough concept behind it that we can do a lot of different things with him and not get TOO repetitive.

There will probably be more Kevin in 2015, but in some different situations so things don't get super-stale. Maybe a video? Maybe facing off against his mortal enemy, Nivek, the assistant to heroes? The discovery that he hates Mondays and loves lasagna? Only time will tell.

 

"The Ages of Multiplayer"

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Hey, remember when I said I didn't get Twitch before? Here's us trying to express that in comic form! Also, Julia Lepetit is real good at drawing things, but especially terrifying levels of depression and misery.

 

"Rattata Family Reunion"

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I think this is the stupidest punchline I've ever written? It's entirely possible (prove me wrong in the comments!). But mainly, I wanted to explore some of the unseen realities of the Pokemon world - some of these Pokemon have to be related right? So why couldn't a battle play out like two estranged brothers who love each other, but are trying to overcome the emotional distance between the two, despite not knowing exactly what to say? I wanted it to feel believable and sad, suggesting a deep history that we'll never get the full story on - and then BOOM! Dumb wordplay.

Also, Andy Kluthe's art on this is spectacular. Yay Andy!

 

"Flappy Game: The Movie"

Tony Wilson, on top of being a top-notch draw-man, is also an insanely-talented film-man. He's done everything from dramatizing fan fiction with animated popsicle sticks to the most REAL VIDEO EVER, but this wonderfully shot, zero budget faux-documentary about Flappy Bird clones is my favorite thing he's done all year. Also I had to jam a REAL raw fish up against my face! It was gross, but way less gross than having yogurt splashed in my face.

 

CHLOE COLE:

"5 Gross Animals That Are Basically Xenomorphs"

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I have a lot of feelings about Xenomorphs. When I first saw Alien, I looked upon the Xenomorph and thought, "Oh wow, it's like somebody visited my nightmares and brought to life the worst monster my subconscious could conjure. COOL!" 

Ever since, I've loved Xenomorphs. Because you have to embrace the thing you fear and become it. Like BATMAN. That's why in 2015 I will undergo a surgical procedure to put a very small face inside my mouth that will protrude whenever I feed. 2015 is really gonna be my year!

I appreciate this article because it showed me that Xenomorphs aren't fictional creatures that are very, very fictional which means very, very not real. No, there exist real-life Xenomorph counterparts and they probably know where I live.
Also, Jake included an un-ironic reference to Kim Possible, and I respect that.

 

"Which Harry Potter Character Are You REALLY?"

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As we all know, 2014 was the year of The Quiz. Everybody needed to take a quiz to figure out who they were. If you didn't figure out which Friends cast member you were, you didn't know who the fuck you were, it was basically the same thing as having amnesia. 
Dorkly decided to get in on the Quiz game -- and ruin it once and for all. This quiz explained clearly with forceful, persuasive language why quiz results were meaningless and abhorrent. I agree with everything this quiz stands for. I hope no preteen looking for understanding turns to an internet quiz for consolation ever again. 
But, also: Ravenclaw or gtfo.

 

"The Truth About Youtube Science Videos"

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I. LOVE. THIS. COMIC. I want to tattoo it on my bicep. Why? All you need to do is check out the last panel. 

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That face encapsulates all of human experience.

 

TONY WILSON:

"X-Men PSAs"

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I like these for a whole lot of reasons. The designs are rad, the colors are good, they humorously address some of the more basic problems of the X-Men (e.g. regular people deciding to pick on people who could literally blow them apart with laser eyeballs). More than anything, though, I like this drawing of Patrick Stewart giving a thumbs up. It is a powerful thing, to get the eye contact and approval of such a marvelous human being. It makes my heart swell to three times its normal size. Someone please call an ambulance, because I'm sure that's bad for my heart.

 

"Here Comes a Video Game Joke"

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I know it may be gauche to pick one of my own pieces, but I do feel like "Here Comes a Video Game Joke" did a lot of things right. Like, for one, it solved humor. It was a joke so good, that it nothing else ever has to be funny again. Also it has a dog putting his face into another dog's butt and wearing it like butt goggles. When I first pitched this comic, the people, they said, "No, it can't be done." Not only did I pull it off, but Jerry "Seinfeld" Seinfeld came to my house afterward, and said "You are now the funniest man in America." He adopted me. I'm rich now. So yeah, pretty good comic.