The Male Chimp

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Who is this "male chimp" they keep alluding to at the beginning of each episode? Right now, he seems totally separate - not tied to the crime in any meaningful way. The ONLY reason for the frequent mentions of this chimp is if he somehow figures into the big finale episode. And what a twist it would be if a monkey was the murderer! Like that one episode of Frasier where Frasier thought a monkey killed someone, but then it turned out he was wrong. Except this time he would have been right!

Odds: 10:1

Other factors: That one person says "male kimp" and I have no idea what to make of that. Possible red herring?

 

Sarah Koenig

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Big shocking reveal - at the end of the Adnan case, we discover that Sarah Koenig did it, and the whole show has been a misdirect to reveal how she framed an innocent man....and that the title "Serial" wasn't in reference to the serialized nature of the show, but in reference to Sarah Koenig's true nature as a SERIAL KILLER. Each new case the show tackles involves another person she's killed, and someone framed for her crimes.

Odds: 5:1

Other factors: For someone who readily admits she's not a detective and has no experience investigating old criminal cases and who just posits a lot of contradictory hypotheses to elicit certain responses from listeners...I forget what I was saying.

 

Ira Glass

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Ira Glass has probably totally killed a bunch of people, right? Right. This American Life? More like This American DEATH.

Odds: 3:1

Other factors: "Ira Glass" sounds like a made-up name. Remember the fake name Jan gives to her imaginary boyfriend in A Very Brady Sequel? George Glass. Coincidence???

 

Guest Star Bob Saget

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Why would they bring on Bob Saget as a guest star to this episode of Law & Order: Podcast Crimes if he wasn't the one who did it? There's no reason. Bob Saget TOTALLY did it.

Odds: 2:1

Other factors: Ugh, is this a multi-parter? I don't have all day, TNT.

 

It Will Be Left Unclear and There Won't Be Any Major Concrete Revelations, Just More and More Circumstantial Evidence and Unreliable Testimonies and Vague Memories That Reveal Nothing Beyond The Fact That We Were a Bunch of Dopes Who Allowed Recontextualized Known Information and Contradictory Hypotheses To Manipulate Us Into Listening To An Ultimately Empty Pointless Podcast That Sensationalizes A Tragedy For Entertainment Value

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So yeah, I bet Jay TOTALLY did it.

Odds: 1:1

Other factors: ...or maybe it was Adnan.