The Toy Story films are legendary for being surprisingly emotionally-taxing, gut-wrenching experiences for animated films about toys voiced by Forrest Gump and Tim 'The Tool Man' Taylor. The first film dealt with the feeling of being "replaced" by someone newer, cooler, and shinier, and the value of friendship through it all. The second film focused on abandonment and loved ones moving on. And the third film....Christ, the third film had a sequence about calmly accepting the inevitability of death.

But there are even more unsettling things going on in Toy Story - things baked into the very premise of the universe. Things that reveal a much more horrifying picture than the PG-related films we've seen so far...


1. All the Toys Have Seen Andy Masturbate


Let's just get this one out of the way - yes, all the toys have probably witnessed Andy's budding sexuality and probably had to sit there, totally still, as their master "debooted the snake." They've actually bore witness to everything Andy has ever done when he thought he was alone in his room - every indiscretion he thought was private was actually being constantly monitored by a legion of his mysteriously sentient toys. This isn't only horrifying for Woody and pals, but also Andy - he was having his privacy violated pretty much non-stop for his entire childhood. Everytime he thought he was alone, he was being silently spied upon by everything from his army men to his goddamn piggy bank.


2. The Toy Companies Have Defied God and Created Life


The basic premise of Toy Story is that all toys have sentience - they are ALIVE, despite having no internal organs or the biology necessary for life - and have seemingly unlimited energy to boot, with no need for food or water. Which means ALL toy companies have discovered the secret to CREATING LIFE from inorganic matter, but are either unaware of their discovery or purposefully hiding it from society at large by forming a secret cabal.

Both possibilities are pretty horrifying - either the toy companies are inadvertently surrounding children across the world with secretly living, co-dependent, emotionally-needy toys, or they are AWARE of this and have all agreed to not let the public at large know about it - a conspiracy on the level of X-Files, except way creepier because these people would actually know what they're doing - and be able to cover it up for over 50 years.


3. The Toys Have Total Self-Awareness and Know To Hide Their Sentience


Bizarrely, the toys have an enormous and innate sense of self-awareness: they are aware they are toys, designed and manufactured to be played with by children, AND that their sentience and living state is unnatural and would terrify their child-masters (and humanity in general), so they hide it by going limp and inanimate in an instant. They all perfectly understand the universe around them, and exactly how they fit into it, without needing to be taught.

Until Buzz, that is.