4. U.S. Navy saves Alan Grant from vicious dinosaurs, lets dinosaurs roam free undefined

If you drink to forget Jurassic Park III, here's a recap: Alan Grant is called back to the original island from the original movie to help Jerry Lundegaard and Madam Secretary find their kid. Dinosaur shenanigans inevitably occur, there's a sizable bit in a pteranodon cage and at the end Laura Dern comes back to cash her check and also brings Navy Seals to save everyone. As the military helicopters escort them from the island, Alan stares wistfully out the window at the huge pteranodons flying beside them. As the theme music swells, he suggests in a hopeful tone that the escaped dinosaurs will find new nesting grounds out there in the open world.

Wait, what?


How the hell is anyone okay with this? Alan and co. just spent 89 minutes scared shitless as one terrifying ancient beast after another came within a hair's breadth of killing them. Hell, not everyone in their party made it off the island! What in grandma's good gravy makes any of them think that it's inspirational to see insanely territorial dinosaurs flying back into the world of man? "Life will find a way" my ass -- shoot those fuckers down.

Speaking of which, where does the Navy stand on this situation? They're in well-equipped helicopters full of dudes brandishing machine guns -- they'd be more than prepared to act if someone had just radioed back to homebase and mentioned the terrible lizards heading for populated areas. When you witness the infiltration of a giant-size invasive species, you don't just shrug it off -- you get out the flamethrowers and raze their dino-DNA to the ground. Didn't anyone in this movie see what happened when the T-Rex rampaged through San Diego in Jurassic Park: The Lost World? Oh yeah, everyone lived it.