3. Ant-Man shrinks down to go downtown

undefined

Here we go, some good ol' red-blooded copulation between two non-relatives! Hank Pym and Janet Van Dyne were divorced at the time of this comic, in large part due to his infamous indiscretions, when they decided to travel to Vegas together in an attempt to rekindle their relationship. It seems like it's going pretty well, until you realize...

undefined

Yikes. What do you even do after you've shrunken yourself down between a woman's legs? What's the gameplan? Do you start pummeling the meat curtain like fleshy gym equipment? I guess you could go full-on Lemmiwinks and head into the pink abyss, but that seems like it would require some kind of breathing apparatus. Really, the bigger issue is what he thinks she's going to do once it's "her turn" to use sexual shrinking powers. As a dude, I can say that there is no appeal in having your balls treated like a bouncy castle.

This brings up all sorts of questions about the use of powers in superheroes' bedrooms. Does Superman use his laser vision to melt candle wax on Lois Lane? Does The Invisible Woman play a literal game of Hide the Salami with Mr. Fantastic? Could The Flash possibly be as disappointing as he sounds?

undefined