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As the most popular X-Man, Wolverine carries a lot of weight. His presence can make or break a comic book or even a movie, which explains why the market is currently oversaturated with squat and grumpy Canadians. The sheer volume of Wolverine-related comics means that it's not hard to find a few memories he'd like to have erased in an experimental laboratory environment. When we say we've compiled a list of Wolverine's most embarrassing moments, you should trust us -- we're above-average at what we do.

 

5. Earth X Wolverine is fat, drunk, delusional

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After DC released their now-classic Kingdom Come series in the late 90s, Marvel wanted a piece of that dystopian future pie, and so a couple years later we got Earth X. It's set in a world where something called The Terrigen Mists has been spread throughout the planet, awakening superpowers of almost every human being. Since that means pretty much anyone can lift a car off of an old lady, the original superheroes became old hat. Wolverine in particular was pulled under by a riptide of beer and Cool Ranch Doritos, and ten years later he's seen as an obese joke reduced to watching the action play out on his CRT via rabbit ears. His only solace, besides the knowledge that his big stupid hair remains largely intact, lies in the fact that Jean Grey ended up with him -- or at least, that's what he keeps telling himself.

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Earth X Wolvie is such a sad sack of shit that he hasn't even realized that "Jeannie" has been Madelyne Pryor, Cyclops' ex-wife and mother of Cable (I know, but comic books), for ten years. To be fair, she's technically a clone of Jean Grey (I know, but comic books), but that doesn't really account for the whole "personality angle." Later on, Earth X Wolvie discovers he and all mutants are descendants of Moon Boy, even though you didn't know who Moon Boy is and why that should be significant. (I know, but comic books.)