7. The Ewok Adventures Has the First Star Wars Character Named "Mace"

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Sorry Sammy L, Mace Windu's kickass first name is recycled from this wampa-punched Mark Hamill-looking kid. Not only that, but the Ewok Adventure's Mace Towani was a badass teen who killed a giant cave troll by stabbing it in the neck with an AXE. Last I heard from Mace Windu, he was screaming like a wuss and getting zapped out a window by an oily skinned prune-bag. 

 

6. Wicket Has More Emotive Range Than Anakin.

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Which of these two characters was built in a creature workshop and puppeteered by a tiny man? The answer might surprise you! Warwick Davis expresses more from behind a mask while speaking in a made up Ewok language than Hayden Christensen does by speaking english and plainly stating his feelings. 

 

5. Sets

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Real places. That actors can exist in and touch and interact with.

 

4. No Stupid Jedi Braids

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Just look at this blonde kid's INSANE HAIR! It's like some HOLY GOLDEN FLEECE symbolizing PURITY and INNOCENCE. Instead of a trashy Jedi rat tail symbolizing an affinity for Cheez Whiz and swimming in the ocean with your t-shirt on. Seriously, Anakin looks like he'd chase you down the river and scream at you to "squeal like a pig."

 

3. There are Only Two Ewok Adventure Movies

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Clocking in at 96 and 94 minutes, watching Caravan of Courage and The Battle For Endor back to back would take 235 minutes less than watching the prequel trilogy. That's nearly the same about of time it took George Lucas to write the script for Episode 1. 

 

2. No elements of the Ewok Adventures Were Forcibly Inserted Into the Original Trilogy.

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They didn't take Wicket's fucked up bug eyes and digitally insert them into Return of the Jedi.

 

1. The Ewok Adventures are Totally Forgettable

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Mostly Importantly, Caravan of Courage and The Battle for Endor were totally and utterly forgettable. I forgot that I'd seen these, or that they existed, until earlier today. I wish I could say the same about the prequels. 

 

 

BONUS: The Ewok Adventure Movies Have THIS:

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