3. The Green Lantern Corps deputizes a suicidal squirrel, watches it get hit by a truck

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With thousands of sectors to oppress with their special brand of brightly-colored fascism, the Lanterns have had to dig pretty deep to get coverage in every corner of the galaxy. They've got everyone from a big bird man to a sentient mathematical equation and a sniveling pink guy with a pointy mustache that just screams "I am evil and will turn on the Green Lanterns at the first opportunity." At the bottom of that jade-colored barrel we have Ch'p, a H'lvenite from the distant world of -- let's be real, he's just a cartoon squirrel. Even Ch'p had a low opinion of himself, to the point where he tried to kill himself following the cancellation of his comic book series. He stopped short of doing the deed, but that only delayed Ch'p's untimely annihilation.

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John Stewart, doomed to be underused until movie execs get smart and hire Idris Elba to play him, coaxed Ch'p out of retirement in order to help figure out what could have destroyed an important road -- of course, rodents and traffic don't usually mix, so it was only a matter of pages before Ch'p was struck down by a yellow truck. Even after his grisly demise, Ch'p continued to haunt Stewart, and later briefly returned as a zombie Black Lantern. There really should be more ways to say "Comic books, am I right?"

 

2. Kyle Rayner's girlfriend gets "fridged," invents new term for terrible plot devices

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Sometime during your illustrious internet career, you might have noticed someone using the term "fridged" or "fridging." Despite how it might sound, it isn't a term for the third shameful trip to the empty fridge when you succumb and finally decide to eat raw ham -- but instead, it comes from an exceedingly stupid Green Lantern comic. See, new Lantern Kyle Rayner had been seeing this girl Alex DeWitt for a while, even before he got his powers. It was going great, up until supervillain and third-rate vacuum cleaner brand Major Force visited her when Kyle wasn't around...

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That's Alex, dead and stuffed in a refrigerator, for no other reason than to introduce tragedy and drama into Kyle's life. Comic book writer and Catmanologist Gail Simone coined the term "Women in Refrigerators" in reference to the violent, inescapable deaths females face in comics -- almost always dying in terrible ways just to make the male villains look worse, enraging the male heroes. If you went back far enough, you could even say that Uncle Ben was fridged for the sake of Peter Parker's origin story, but fridging exists because the kills are so much more frequent, and so much more depraved, when it comes to female characters. Kyle wasn't the first frigidaire (you might have to go back to Spider-Man and Gwen Stacy for that), but thanks to his egregious example, the term is synonymous with Green Lantern.