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Destiny is one of the most anticipated releases of the past few years, let alone 2014. Prior to this, Bungie had spent nearly 15 years enmeshed in the world of Halo and nothing else. This is their big gamble - their chance to move past the world of Master Chief, and set up a new world for gamers everywhere to be enchanted by. But did they succeed? Well, one thing's for sure...

We really, REALLY want to play the new Smash Bros. for 3DS.

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Pictured: The character selection of Destiny pales in comparison to Smash Bros. for 3DS. Destiny has zero Lucarios, we think.


I mean, have you seen the videos? As if we weren't already ridiculously excited for it before, now we know you can play as Duck Hunt Dog AND that Falco's back. A little bummed to see Wolf is gone this time around, but we'll deal. Look at all the characters they were able to fit on the 3DS! So many. The Villager looks super fun too.

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Pictured: Does Destiny live up to the hype? No clue. Send any Smash Bros. 3DS demo codes to general@dorkly.com.


The important thing to remember about Destiny is that it is not Smash Bros. for 3DS, but it might help pass the time until the full release in a few weeks. The problem is that we don't even have a demo code, and it is KILLING US. Sure, there's only one stage and a limited selection of characters, but the fact that we're THIS CLOSE to playing Smash Bros. on a handheld system is enough to drive us up the wall with anticipation.

When it comes to graphics, Destiny's graphics look a lot different from Smash Bros. That makes sense though, since Smash Bros. has a lighter, more cartoony feel, very much in line with Nintendo's aesthetics throughout their history. Some of those stages look super fun. The Pac-Man stage? The Pokemon Black & White stage?

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Pictured: LET ME HAVE YOU, SMASH BROS.


While opinions have been divided on Destiny, there's no division on how cool most of the Final Smashes are for Smash Bros. for 3DS - extremely cool. It's worth playing as Mega Man purely for that Final Smash, from what we can gather from videos.

When it comes to controls, Destiny does not use the 3DS, unlike Smash Bros. for 3DS, which does. If only we had the demo code (or the full game, obviously, but we're not greedy - not that we'd turn it down or anything), we would be able to properly test the controls and see how much the 'broken joystick' issue truly is. Seems pretty widespread so far, which has us concerned, but until we try it out firsthand, we'll try not to pass judgment.

How does Peter Dinklage's voice work go over? Hard to tell, mostly because I was watching people streaming Smash Bros. pretty loudly. There's a Kapp'n song in the Animal Crossing stage that we could listen to for hours, if we had the full game to play, that is.

All things told, (my) Destiny is to play Smash Bros. on the 3DS until my hands bleed.

 

FINAL SCORE

0/10 DEMO CODES IN MY POSSESSION

"WHY ISN'T IT OCTOBER 3RD YET"

 


 

UPDATE #1:

Some incredibly generous and selfless individuals have graciously emailed me Smash Bros 3DS demo codes, like true knights in shining armor, except with Smash Bros. 3DS demo codes instead of armor or swords or anything. But much like when you face off against bad guys in Destiny, I cannot get the wi-fi in the Dorkly office to work with my 3DS (the bad guys in Destiny are substandard wi-fi connections, I'm guessing). I tried going to the nearest Starbucks and standing around awkwardly not buying coffee and attemtping to swipe some of their free wi-fi, but that didn't work either for some reason. Now, I'm sitting here with a bunch of potentially-useful codes BUT NO WAY TO REDEEM THEM.

Frankly, Bungie really dropped the ball by allowing my ignorance over how to get wi-fi to work on my 3DS to lead me to this sad position.

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Pictured: A tragedy of Shakespearian proportions, with myself in the lead role.


I'll attempt to try out the codes (in the order I got them) once I go home for the day (the wi-fi in my apartment works for sure, as many awful awful Pokemon Wonder Trades will attest to), so soon I might be able to complete this exhaustive and unbiased review of Destismashbros3DS.

Here's the official list of people I'm thanking for being ridiculously generous and emailing me codes. Again, I haven't gotten any of the codes to work yet, but I'm pretty confident at least one will work.

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UPDATE #2:

OUR REVIEW OF DESTINY IS COMPLETE AS HELL, PLEASE ENJOY THIS BIAS-FREE, ENTIRELY THOROUGH REVIEW OF BORDERHALO OR WHATEVER:

Pictured: I AM BAD AS HELL AT THIS GAME AND DON'T GIVE A SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, THIS IS GODDAMN SMASHING, FUCKING NIGEL THORNBERRY UP IN THIS

 

IF YOU ARE FROM METACRITIC, PLEASE START COUNTING THIS ASAP.