1. "Star Wars plot broken down by clueless girl"

The Person: Amanda

Best Quotes:

  •  "The planet's really bad now because of...the Dark Side."
  • "They go to the bar planet and...Princess Leia's there. In her little golden suit."
  • "They go to the planet full of the...brown Muppets? Oh, what are they called?"
  • "Chewy's there, and he's like...a deformed Ewok, or something."
  • "And Lando Calrissian betrays them on the Dark Side...but I guess he feels bad about it, and then he dies...feeling bad about it."

 

2. "Star Wars according to a 3 year old"

The Person: A 3 year old

Best Quotes:

  • "The sand people capture robots, and drive and sell 'em, like a garage sale."
  • "The shiny guy always worries."
  • "He keeps saying Luke...how to do his little light-up sword. He tries to block his little Pokeball."
  • "But don't talk back to Darth Vader - he'll getcha!"

 

3. "Japanese Girl Explains STAR WARS"

The Person: Mika

Best Quotes:

To be fair, most of this just comes across as humorous because English is not Mika's primary language, so she struggles to finds the right words and how to pronounce them correctly (as anyone would). Still, without this context, her choices are pretty great:

 

4. "Star Wars Described By a Non Fan"

The Person: Peter Capaldi (as 'Malcolm Tucker' in The Thick of It)

Best Quotes:

  • "The one about the space hairdress and the cowboy?"
  • "His father's a robot and he's fuckin' fucked his sister?"
  • "Then you can go and live happily ever after on the planet the teddy bears're on."

 

5. "Grieves describes a scene from star wars (drunk)"

The Person: Grieves

Best Quotes:

  • "Han Solo's like 'My boy is out there in the cold, Hoth is the coldest planet in the galaxy.' And he went out there."
  • "He was out there, and he found Luke wandering through the fuckin' snow desert."
  • "It was like a horse-donkey...kangaroo. They're Tauntauns!"