2. Superman's funeral garb

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Let's face it: If we didn't grow up watching Superman fly around in his underwear, we might scoff at this goofy-ass Quailman knockoff today. It's a classic look, but at the same time incredibly silly. Many have realized this and tried to change Superman's look for the better, but none of them stuck. If you were to choose his most bizarre temporary costume, you'd probably go with the baffling Electric Superman. But let's put out another one for your consideration: After he was "dead" for six months, Superman was brought back wearing an interpretive dance leotard with a dash of chrome. It's a terrible idea on its own, but it's the details that take this to the next level.

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Let's start from the top and work our way down. Though he was always up-front about being a business kind of guy, Kal-El's time as a corpse led to his hair forming a party in the back. Without a cape, we're left with some unflattering neck cleavage under Earth's Mightiest Mullet. Moving down to the arms, we can see some chrome wristbands, but what we really want to focus on is the bottom of that picture on the right -- that's definitely some hardcore toe-armor. Does Superman really need shiny pieces of metal guarding small parts of his hands and feet? Obviously not, but imagine if he took them off -- the designers knew that those wristbands and toeshields were the only things stopping this suit from becoming the world's most elaborate set of footie pajamas. Laugh at Superman's old tights all you want, but at least they allow you to tell where his torso ends and his legs begin.

 

1. Everything Hawkeye has ever worn

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Clint Barton has always had it rough. From the very beginning, he's been the Avengers' Aquaman. Not only did they slap him with a costume that would get him kicked out of a Renaissance fair, they made it purple. The color might be the roughest part, because no matter what you put a guy in, he's still wearing something the same hue as Ronald McDonald's best friend. Poor guy has never been able to shake that hue -- it's how you know it's Hawkeye, whether he's dressed like a court jester or Ben-Hur.

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Artists and production teams have tried a lot of different things with Clint over the years. They gave him a Cyclops hair-over-mask situation, but that didn't work out. They made his mask a mix of swimming goggles and 50s-era cat glasses, and that crashed and burned. The worst might have been in Avengers: United They Stand (a short-lived cartoon which also got a comic), in which Hawkeye appeared as though he was a Greek god trying out for the lacrosse team. At some point everyone gave up and just put him in a sporty vest and sunglasses, and now Hawkeye's best costume is simply "clothes." Writer Matt Fraction and artist David Aja took it one step further in their critically-acclaimed run, in which Clint is often seen in just a plain white t-shirt and purple sweatpants. Coincidentally, that's also the uniform for sad schmucks who sit at home and complain about bad superhero costumes all day.

 


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