undefined

The most famous of internet laws is well, most likely Rule 34: There's porn versions of everything, from movies to cartoons to breakfast cereals (ESPECIALLY breakfast cereals). The second most commonplace is Rule 63, which dictates that every fictional character has, somewhere, a gender-swapped equivalent. One of the most prevalent examples is in comic books, where every Batman has a Batgirl and every Superman has a Supergirl. Though there are some exceptions, for the most part Rule 63 characters are just really lazy attempts to add sex appeal to popular male characters. It's a shady and sometimes nauseating practice, but it's just so much easier than creating a compelling female character who stands on her own without owing her identity to a man.

We've compiled a list of the worst offenders below. And before you soil your browser history in the name of curiosity: Yes, Rule 34 and Rule 63 go hand-in-hand.

 

5. She-Venom, or Venom with Boobs

undefined

Following a lethal gunshot wound, Ann Weying -- ex-wife of original Venom Eddie Brock -- bonded with Venom's alien symbiote to save her life and ended up the subject of terrible fan art for decades. Venom's alien symbiote has had several female hosts, but at least Scream and Agony bothered to open to a random page of R.L. Stine's Goosebumps Book of Blood-Curdling Baby Names. Despite keeping her maiden name in the divorce, Weying still ended up going with She-Venom for her alter-ego. It's only fitting, really, since she looks like a carbon copy of Venom after someone took a bicycle pump to her chest and buttal regions. Weying was so thrilled with her transformation that she ended the "Bride of Venom" story arc by killing herself.

undefined

You could say that her death was representative of the fact that the symbiote would infect and kill everything Brock loved, but that message is just a smidge muddled when morally ambiguous T and A is being shoved in your face. As you can see in both sets of images, the artist repeatedly broke poor Ann's spine in the name of an edgy butt shot to go with those rockin' jugs. The overt sexualization is made more disturbing when taken together with Venom's typical sharp teeth and slimy tongue. Was the pubescent boy demographic supposed to be turned on by their favorite anti-hero sprouting a rack? Was there some kind of "butterface" initiative put forth at an editorial meeting? Is talking about it years later inadvertently proving the effectiveness of this cheap publicity stunt?

 

4. M.O.D.O.K. + lipstick and eyelashes = M.O.D.A.M.

undefined

M.O.D.O.K., or Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing, is one of those ideas so stupid that it's only awesome in comics. The subject of AIM's freaky-deaky experiments, MODOK is nothing but four tiny T-Rex limbs and a huge head supported by a rocket chair. If the future is anything like Wall-E, this is what we have to look forward to in retirement, and it couldn't be more rad. As perfectly stupid as MODOK is, someone had to go and ruin him by adding eyelashes, lipstick and lots of pink.

undefined

M.O.D.A.M. (Mental Organism Designed for Aggressive Maneuvers) isn't the good kind of dumb, like say, a baby MODOK ruling a secret organization from inside a robotic man-suit. No, MODAM was designed to be more subservient and yet even more vicious than her male counterpart. So instead of performing further experiments on the existing creature to make something like MODOK Mk II, AIM decided to start over from scratch on a new subject. It probably wouldn't be a big deal if they didn't spend tons of money on industrial-strength makeup and eyeliner to make sure that Captain America and Iron Man knew that they were being defeated by a female freak of science with terrifying eyes, gnashing Klingon teeth and titanium boob-plate armor. With something as stupidly-awesome as MODOK, you need to take the kookiness to another level, and "Now he's a girl!" is as boring and pointless an addition as you can get. When it comes down to it, MODAM is the comic book version of Canadian-American Gladiators.