5. Political Machine

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This is the kind of candidate we need in office.

Political Machine may not be the most well-known entry on this list, but boy does it make up for it with a heaping pile of ridiculousness. For the 99% of you who haven't played it, the basic goal of the game is to eventually be elected to the position of President of the United States of America by campaigning across the country. As a player you can either choose to play as a famous politician from history, or you can take the fun option and make your own candidate. For some, reason we can't even begin to possibly fathom, the game will let you create a character with a robot body and a face three quarters of a mile wide, as Dopefish demonstrates quite beautifully, right here:

We don't really know or care why Ubisoft thought it would be a good idea to let players give a presidential candidate ears you could covers a house with, but the results are frankly too awesome for us to even begin giving a shit.

 

4. Train Simulator

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Train Simulator aims to recreate the realism of train ownership (if you were a billionaire psychopath)

Train Simulator is, as you have almost certainly guessed from the title of this entry (and the fact we've said the words "train simulator" at least twice), the game is all about pretending to drive and operate trains, which we have no problem with because only dicks judge people for how they spend their free time. What we do have a problem with however is the fact that for some reason, this game will let you crash trains together like the world's most patient and resourceful serial killer.

There is also absolutely nothing to stop you from de-coupling your train cars mid-journey for no reason! What makes this more worrying is that you literally only need to press one button to do this, that according to this video, is very easy to hit by accident. We'll be honest, we really didn't need to know that every time we were riding a train we were one accidental finger-slip away from no longer being connected to the front of the frickin' train! We'd prefer to live in ignorance than fear.