See - he's so casual and approachable! No tie or anything! He's not some stuffy, out-of-touch millionaire executive who's only concerned with the bottom line and holds zero value on creativity and innovation. Nah, definitely not.He is, however, sweating profusely and reading his lines completely monotone and is slowing having the dawning realization that he is the absolute last person in the world who should be here right now.
"Is it time to clap now? Was that the reveal? Should I be smacking the palms of my hands together in appreciation of being crammed into a marketing event?"
Oh, you thought trailers were for the GAMES? No no no, game trailers are previews of what the commercials will look like.
"I swear that Gun Shooter VII: Reguntion was working totally fine when I demanded it be rushed to a playable demo even thought the dev team said that it would be impossible to guarantee any level of quality given the timeframe."
"Dynamic. Game-changing. Social integration. Dubstep remix of Gangnam Style." - guy who has no idea what he's saying (or how sentences work)
"Every. Videogame. Ever. Streaming. To. Your. Dog. At. 60 FPS.
-same guy (he might be having a stroke or something?)
"Good thing we premiered Explos-Fun Quest XIII: Hellpisser at E3 2014 - the positive buzz we generated from this will totally pay off when we release in 2017."
"Ah, so the only people watching this live right now are insanely-hardcore gamers, only interested in new games? This is the perfect time to announce Netflix functionality for another device. Also your dog." -yeah okay that guy is definitely having a stroke, someone call an ambulance
OUTTA THE WAY, I GOTTA BE THE FIRST ONE TO SET UP A FAKE TWITTER ACCOUNT FOR MIYAMOTO'S SLIGHTLY UNEVEN MUSTACHE.
"I love commercials and being lied to!" -everyone excited about E3