1. Samwell learns that Gilly is alive!
Samwell sucks at protecting Gilly. But it's okay because he's really good at reading. Like, he clarified that the Night's Watch Oath does not explicitly forbid sex. Which was a very important thing to clear up before the Wildlings arrived and killed everyone.
2. Samwell and Gilly kiss! And then Samwell delivers an awesome speech!
3. The only thing scarier than giants?
4. Pyp dies in Sam's arms and it's heartbreaking
But at least he lived long enough hear Sam's cool "I'm not nothing anymore" speech!
5. Jon Snow jumps from an elevator twenty feet off the ground for no apparent reason.
Stop snowing off, Jon!
6. The Night's Watch reveal they have ONE cool weapon....
7. Grenn leads his fellow crows in reciting the Night's Watch Oath before they fight a giant
Oh man, I was really hoping that giants were allergic to oaths!
8. Ygritte and Jon are reunited and --
"Game of Thrones" should be renamed "We should have stayed in that cave." Everything would have better if everyone had just stayed in that cave!
9. Sam returns to make sure Gilly and the baby are safe.
Janos Slynt is the real baby. That being said, I would have done the same thing Slynt did if I saw a GIANT riding a MAMMOTH.
10. The Night's Watch is victorious!
And Jon Snow decides to go kill Mance Rayder. How he plans to do this alone and unarmed is a mystery. I think he's probably gonna be like, "Wait, how many wildlings are in your army? I forgot." And while Mance Rayder is busy counting 100,000 wildlings, a mammoth will step on Rayder and crush him by accident.