Captain America 3 Talks To Batman vs Superman

As of right now, both Batman vs. Superman and Captain America 3 are due to be released on May 6, 2016. That's right - two of the biggest superhero movies ever, both planned for the same day. Marvel originally claimed this date for an unnamed movie - so DC planned their huge crossover film for the same day, expecting Marvel to blink. But with the success of The Winter Soldier, Marvel went ahead and announced that Captain America 3 would indeed be released then.

  1. Batman vs. Superman

    Ooo...awkward. This is our date - sorry Captain America 3.

  2. Capt. America 3

    No way, Batfleck vs. Hopeman, Marvel was savin' this spot for me.

  3. Batman vs. Superman

    Well, uh, technically they were just saving it for "Untitled Marvel Film." That doesn't really count.

  4. Capt. America 3

    Sure it does - now make way for Captain America 3: I'm a Better Superman Than Henry Cavill's City-Wrecking Saiyan

  5. Batman vs. Superman

    You're not really calling yourself that, are you?

  6. Capt. America 3

    Psh, who knows? Haven't even started writing the damn thing.

  7. Batman vs. Superman

    Yeah, that's sorta the thing - number 2 JUST came out - don't you think it's a little early to call a spot for the third one?

  8. Capt. America 3

    That's how Captain America 3 rolls, son. Pre-emptive strike up in this house!

  9. Batman vs. Superman

    But don't you know how much money you'll lose?

  10. Capt. America 3

    Are you kidding me? Have you seen the box office numbers? We got more green on us than the Hulk's dick.

  11. Batman vs. Superman

    Yeah, but -

  12. Capt. America 3

    Because the Hulk's dick has a lot of green on it.

  13. Batman vs. Superman

    Yeah, we got that. But aren't you worried about going up against me? I'm one of the most anticipated movies ever. You'll at least lose the weekend to us.

  14. Capt. America 3

    Psh, so? Marvel's got like 3 movies per year comin' out. How many DC got?

  15. Batman vs. Superman

    Well...2013 had Man of Steel, and Batman vs. Superman will be out in 2016.

  16. Capt. America 3

    LOL - one movie every three years?! We're making a fucking Guardians of the Galaxy movie. That shit's gonna star a raccoon and a tree. You fuckers can't even get a solo Wonder Woman movie made.

  17. Batman vs. Superman

    Exactly! So why are you messing with our one shot?

  18. Capt. America 3

    They want me to screw you up. We got a billion movies, and you just got one. I'm gonna fuck DC's plans harder than -

  19. Batman vs. Superman

    Let me guess - The Hulk's dick?

  20. Capt. America 3

    ...I understood that reference.