Entertainment News Site Has a Major Scoop
Batman vs. Superman is actually gonna star Christian Bale as Batman now? Steven Spielberg is taking over the new Star Wars movies and they're going to crossover with the Harry Potter universe? Wow - very subtle with the PRANKS, MOVIE NEWS INTERNET SITES!
What To Do: Write "NUH-UH - NOT BUYING IT!" in the comments. Add "YOU JUST GOT APRIL SCHOOL'D!!" if you feel your comment warrants it.
Friend or Relative Alerts You of a Major Life Event Via Text
Your cousin is getting married? Your best friend just found out she was pregnant? Your dad was hit head-on by a semi-truck and is in the ICU of the local hospital, where your mom is sitting in the waiting room, catatonic from shock and a grief so deep it is completely unknowable?
Could these people BE any more obvious with their pranks? (classic Chandler reference)
What To Do: Text back "PSSSSSSSSH - APRIL TOOLS DAY IS MORE LIKE IT!" Because they're all a bunch of piss-poor prankin' tools, that is.
Your Estranged Brother Calls You In Tears, Saying Your Father Is Dead, And That He Wants To Let Bygones Be Bygones
He says he's sorry for all those years of resentment and silence. For all of the calls he never made, all the life events he missed, and all the memories that are forever lost.
In other words - A CLASSIC PRANK.
What To Do: Ask him if his fridge is running, then tell him that his name is I.P. FREELY! REVERSE-PRANKED! MORE LIKE APRIL RULES DAY!!!
Local Municipality Thinks They Can Prank You By Putting Up a 'Stop' Sign In August 2011
Ohhhh big hotshot town council, thinks they can put a stop sign on YOUR street just because Old Man Grugson ran over all those kids all those times?
YOU ARE IMMUNE FROM THE LAWS OF PRANKS AND MEN, SIGN.
What To Do: Just ram into that sign with your car, full-speed ahead. That sign is a bullshit prank designed to make you look like a fool - STOPPING your CAR in the ROAD? WHAT KIND OF GULLIBLE RUBE DO THEY THINK YOU ARE? Then after the car hits that huge tree right behind the Stop sign, stumble out of your car and collapse in a pool of blood. "APRIL POOL..." you mutter, before fading into darkness.
A Higher Being Abandons You To a Plane of Existence Between Life and Death, Where You Roam the Earth as a Ghost
Ohhhhh so you're a GHOST now, huh? Ohhhh you're part of an existential nightmare where you're neither living nor dead, but an ethereal spirit that exists somewhere in-between?
UH SURE, LIKE I'M GONNA FALL FOR THAT PRANK. I wasn't BORN YESTERDAY, guys! I did die yesterday though.
What To Do: "MORE LIKE APRIL GHOULS!" you wail, rattling your chains, begging for the mercy of nonexistence.
Congratulations! You successfully avoided all the pranks. You're looking pretty APRIL COOLS DAY!