The True Reason For the NippleSuits in Batman Robin

  1. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred! Check out the redesigned suits!

  2. [Bruce shows off his new Batsuit]
  3. Alfred

    Oh. Ohhhhhh my.

  4. Bruce

    Yeah, ya like 'em?

  5. Alfred

    Uh. Well....they're definitely, uh, interesting.

  6. Bruce

    Hey Alfred - eyes up here.

  7. Alfred

    Sorry sir - it's just...your nipples.

  8. Bruce

    My BAT-nipples?

  9. Alfred

    Yes, Master Wayne. Your Bat-nipples.

  10. Bruce

    You're wondering about the 'em, aren't you?

  11. Alfred

    I'm afraid so, Master Wayne.

  12. Bruce

    As in, why I would bother putting Bat-nipples on my Batsuit?

  13. Alfred

    Indeed. I just don't underst-

  14. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred, what'd I say? Eyes up here.

  15. Alfred

    Sorry again, sir, you're just blasting those Bat-nips pretty hard. It's difficult to not look at them.

  16. Bruce

    Precisely.

  17. Alfred

    Come again?

  18. Bruce

    I've been around for a while now - my enemies know what to expect when they see me. The entire reason I have the Batsuit is to frighten and confuse my enemies - to keep them off-balance. So I needed to make a change. And that change is Bat-nips.

  19. Alfred

    I'm afraid I don't follow, sir.

  20. Bruce

    With these rock hard Bat-nips poppin' out of my suit, that's ALL my enemies will be looking at. They'll be so confused by my Bat-nips, they won't be able to look anywhere else. That distraction gives me the advantage in combat.

  21. Alfred

    Interesting theory - but they serve no practical purpose, correct?

  22. Bruce

    Nope - but neither do my Bat-ears, yet no one questions that. It's all about intimidating and confounding my foes. When they see these Bat-nips, they'll be the ones slipping.

  23. Alfred

    Rather brilliant, sir. I must admit, between the Bat-nips and the enormous Bat-codpiece, I was worried your Batsuit was becoming some manner of creepy erotic sex outfit.

  24. Bruce

    A simple misconception, Alfred. One that my enemies will share - and that I will take advantage of.

  25. Alfred

    Doesn't really explain the assless chaps you added though.

  26. [Pause]
  27. Bruce

    BAT-assless chaps, Alfred.