The Conversation That Takes Place After Every Marvel Movie

 

  1. You

    Oh man. OH MAN, that was great.

  2. Significant Other

    Yeah, that was pretty good. Anyways, let's go, I gotta go pee -

  3. You

    SHHHHH - SIT DOWN.

  4. S.O.

    Oh right - the post-credits scene.

  5. [baffling and context-free post-credits scene plays]
  6. S.O.

    Wait - huh? What was that? Was that Benicio del Toro in a wig in a swamp science lab?

  7. You

    THAAAAT WAS AMAAAAAAAZING!

  8. S.O.

    Okay. Well, that was...something. Anyways, can we go now? I gotta go to the bathroo-

  9. You

    SHHHHH - SIT DOWN.

  10. S.O.

    But...but we saw the post-credits scene. We're not gonna sit through the crazy-long credits too, are we? Are you saying there's a POST-post-credits scene?

  11. [You nod furiously]
  12. S.O.

    Ugggggggggggggh...

  13. [4 minutes pass]
  14. S.O.

    Are you sure there's another scene? Why would they have TWO post-credits scenes? That doesn't make any sens-

  15. [You shush furiously]
  16. S.O.

    ALL RIGHT, FINE, I'LL PEE IN THE ICEE CUP.

  17. [final post-credits scene plays]
  18. S.O.

    We waited five minutes in a mostly empty theater for THAT? That lasted maybe 15 seconds.

  19. [You're too busy crying tears of joy to respond]
  20. S.O.

    All right. There's no more. It's done. Can we go?

  21. You

    There's, uh, a POST-post-post-credits scene coming...

  22. S.O.

    The lights are on. They're cleaning up the theater. There's nothing else.

  23. You

    By "post-credits scene", I may mean..."post-credits movie."

  24. S.O.

    You're going to sit in this theater until the next Marvel movie comes out, aren't you?

  25. [You nod furiously]
  26. S.O.

    Goddammit, fine. I'm gonna go refill my Icee.