How Space Jam 2 Was Pitched

  1. Executive #1

    Dammit! We need a new hit blockbuster right away! Get me the greatest development guy in the business!

  2. Executive #2

    Uh, okay, but who exactly is tha-

  3. (11 Year Old Me enters, looking cool as hell with his frosted tips and his AND1 t-shirt)
  4. Executive #1

    11 Year Old Andrew! What movie should we make?

  5. 11 Year Old Me

    THERE SHOULD TOTALLY BE A SEQUEL TO SPACE JAM!

  6. (11 Year Old Me throws down his best Pog slammer in celebration)
  7.  Executive #1

    My god - of course! That's brilliant!

  8. Executive #2

    Uh, Doug? Maybe we shouldn't be taking movie pitches from an 11 year old from 1996.

  9. 11 Year Old Me

    ALSO JAY AND SILENT BOB SHOULD BE IN IT!

  10. (11 Year Old Me whips out his 'No Fear' binder that's filled with some hella sweet doodles of Sonic the Hedgehog)
  11.  Executive #1

    Awww hell yes, this is gold, baby, GOLD!

  12. Executive #2

    Doug, seriously, teens have terrible opinions. Especially teens from the 90s. Especially THIS one.

  13. 11 Year Old Me

    THE MOVIE SHOULD HAVE AN ALL SKA SOUNDTRACK! REEL BIG FISH COULD DO THE WHOLE SCORE!

  14. (11 Year Old Me adjusts his JNCOs and almost walks the dog with his Viper yo-yo)
  15.  Executive #1

    Dope. DOPE. This process for pitching movies is flawless!

  16. Executive #2

    Actually, it seems extremely flawed. Like, the most flawed way possible to greenlight movies. Why would we make a sequel to Space Jam in the first place? It was okay but it was just a vehicle for Michael Jordan. Without him, what would be the point? It would just be the Looney Tunes and a weirdly sexualized girl rabbit.

  17. (11 Year Old Me is too busy eating Dunkaroos to respond)
  18. Executive #1

    Hey - he's right. Who could we get to replace Michael Jordan?

  19. 11 Year Old Me

    LITERALLY ANY BASKETBALL PLAYER SO LONG AS YOU PLAY THE SPACE JAM SONG AT ANY POINT IN THE MOVIE.

  20. (beat)
  21. Executive #2

    Damn...this kid is good.