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The Majesty of Twitch Plays Pokemon

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Almost 100% of Day 8 was spent in the Pokemon Tower. Slowly, slowly, slooooooowly grinding through it. Drowzee forgot Psychic in favor of Headbutt almost immediately (not a great start), Pidgeot became "aaabaaajss", and DigRat evolved into Raticate. Eventually the Marowak at the top of the tower was defeated, and the PokeFlute was obtained.

The Majesty of Twitch Plays Pokemon

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The Pokemon Tower took - from start to finish - about 42 hours. While less pointless and depressingly chaotic than the TR Hideout, it was a much longer quest. Still, this was one of the last major hurdles - although Victory Road still loomed ahead, daring the players to challenge its might.



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Now armed with the PokeFlute, the players could finally move that Snorlax blocking the route forward. The mighty Snorlax was awaken, and the players bravely ran away immediately (instead of trying to fight or capture it). They gained the Super Rod, evolved aaabaaajss the Oddish into a Gloom, and the mighty Pidgeot stood at level 50. The beast of a bird is the backbone of the team - naturally, it'll probably be released soon by accident, so let's enjoy this while we can.

Fuschia City was next on the list, and Red entered the gym early in the morning - but was soon knocked out and returned to the Pokemon Center. Instead of returning, the players decided to take on another challenge: the once dreaded Safari Zone. Although it had been rumored to be removed, the 500 step limit was still in effect. But then DigRat used Dig pretty quickly to teleport the players out, so that limit wasn't yet an issue. Everyone took a collective breath, and decided to return to the Fuschia City gym, where the leader Koga was ultimately defeated, earning them their 5th badge. Now it was time to return to the Safari Zone.

The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

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The return brought more Pokemon to the team than the entirety of the rest of the game, although most of the Pokemon captured were Venonats and Nidorans. A few others were captured, including a Rhyhorn, an Exeggcute, a Venomoth, and a Paras - all of whom (except for AATTVVV the Venomoth, nicknamed the "All Terrain Venomoth") were filtered to the PC. The struggle between Democracy and Anarchy raged on, with Start9 coming into effect a few times. Ultimately, there was a grim realization that Democracy was necessary. 7 hours later, HM Surf was obtained thanks to the switch - in a miraculously small amount of time, one of the most dreaded hurdles in the game was overcome. Not long after, HM Strength was obtained. This was all going too easily.

The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon

The next stop on the nightmare-train was Silph Co. - which holds the Master Ball. This will be one of the great tests of Twitch Plays Pokemon - can they hold onto it long enough to use it on a legendary Pokemon? Can they hold onto it long enough to use it on a decent Pokemon? Fine, literally any Pokemon? Can they just NOT toss it immediately?

The answer is...we'll have to wait. The game stopped taking commands mid-battle out of nowhere around the 20th hour of the 8th day. The chatlog called for riots. Is this just a temporary delay, or is it the dreaded End of Times, engineered by the Dome Fossil?

It turns out to have been a temporary delay. Praise be to Helix.

After that messy little interlude, things got back on track - the journey through Silph Co. led to a victorious battle against rival Blue, the players prevented the evolution of Drowzee into Hypno so that it could re-learn Psychic, and - FINALLY - Lapras was obtained (named "AIIIIIIRRR"). It was instantly knocked out by an opponent Drowzee.



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The day began, like many others, with confusion.

Many wanted to immediately teach Lapras Surf, as was its destiny. Many wanted to grind the Pokemon up a few levels so the Silph Co. Giovanni fight would be possible. Many wanted to listen to Bulbasaur's cry (these people were the most successful).

But soon - after hundreds of hours of struggle - AIR was taught Surf. Now the players could chaotically roam aimlessly back and forth on the sea as well as land. And the HM train didn't stop there - the Fresh Prince of Shell-Air was also taught Strength, making it a valuable HM slave right off the bat. Somewhere, far in the distance, Flareon cries out in anger.

Not long after, the players returned to Silph Co. and finally defeated Giovanni (on the second try, but still) - with the big news being obtaining the Master Ball - and it wasn't immediately tossed! Instead, the players made way to the 6th gym to face off against gym leader Sabrina. However, the Saffron Gym was was broken up by a complicated maze of teleportation tiles, making movement within a bit more complex than in even the Team Rocket Hideout.

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Sabrina was dispatched after a breezy 4 hours or so (thanks to Bird Jesus, then standing at an imposing Level 59).

It has been over 230 hours at this point. That's over three times as long as the Battle of Gettysburg.



The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

Through various channels, the players and their (somehow untossed) Master Ball decided to make way towards the Power Plant in order to catch Zapdos. There was only one problem - the path they had to follow brought them back to an old enemy: Route 9, and the dreaded ledge.

Mere hours into the day, and the haunting flashbacks of Route 9 have become reality. The players greatest fears have been realized. Another great struggle between Democracy and Anarchy rages as Red hops off ledges for hours.

And because this is the weirdest goddamn thing on the entire internet and just keeps getting weirder some Twitch streamer who goes by the name 'Destiny' is trying to rally his followers to release Bird Jesus for some reason.

The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

Yet Destiny was not successful, the players forged on past The Ledge (hopefully for the last time), and - in a bizarre turn of events that NO ONE saw coming - they actually caught Zapdos using the Master Ball. They didn't throw away the Master Ball or use it on a Voltorb or knock out Zapdos. They did it. They really actually did it.

The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

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Of course, it was sent to the PC - so that became the next step: extricating AA-j the Zapdos from the PC, while not losing any other Pokemon to the infinite dangers the PC presented.

First AIR was deposited - not really the wisest move, given it was the only Pokemon with Surf and Strength, but whatever. Then Bird Jesus was deposited - also not the wisest move, since it was by far the strongest Pokemon on the team. Then Zapdos was added to the team! Then it was time to le...wait, why did they deposit The Keeper? AND ALL TERRAIN VENOMOTH? Then two low level Nidorans and a Rhyhorn (from the Safari Zone Gang) were added to the team, and Cabbage the Gloom was deposited.

This is why PCs are dangerous. And it wasn't even over.

Then - somehow - ZAPDOS was deposited in another Box of the PC, as were DUX and one of the Nidorans. The Helix Fossil was deposited. Then Zapdos was removed again. As was the recently deposited Nidoran and most of the items that had been deposited (including the Helix Fossil). And it wasn't even over STILL.

This went on (on and off) for several more hours: a Geodude and a Zubat were caught and added to the PC crew! But there was a slaughter going on- a bunch of Pokemon were released, including:

  • 3 Venonats
  • 3 Nidorans
  • 1 Paras
  • 1 Geodude
  • 1 Exeggcute
  • Cabbage the Gloom
  • DUX the Farfetch'd (WHO WILL KILL THE BUSHES NOW?)
  • BigDig (formerly DigRat) the Raticate

It was a massacre. Thankfully, Bird Jesus survived the great Battle of PC. But the realization came over many that this sudden horrible disaster may have been the result of retrieving Zapdos. Many are unsure of it - calling it "Judas" or "Anti-Jesus" (since it's given name is "AA-j").

All in all, it was a dark day for Twitch Plays Pokemon.



The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

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After the horrors and bloodshed of The Red Wedding (okay, it was a PC - not a "wedding", but...there WAS someone named Red there), the journey had to continue. Thankfully Bird Jesus survived the massacre, as did Bird Judas - who, despite the terrible fate his withdrawal from the PC brought, was still a valuable Pokemon to have on the team. Still, without DUX or Cabbage, there was no Pokemon with Cut, which limited forward progress to Cinnabar Island significantly. The players discovered a route where Cut could be avoided - it involved a lot of backtracking, but it was better than risk another trip to the PC.

The previous day had seen the beginning of this journey, but the meat of it came in Day 12. There was a brief detour to the Day Care, where there were some fumbles of leaving Bird Jesus and The Keeper there, but the players ultimately left Gastly in the care of the babysitters there. The odds of his retrieval are...slim.

The team (which included Zapdos, Bird Jesus, The Keeper, AIR, All Terrain Venomoth, and The Fonz the Nidorino) made way through Mt. Moon - home of  the Great Helix Fossil (as well as the Cursed Dome Fossil).

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 But it was worth it - with a Moon Stone obtained, The Fonz was evolved into Nidoking. Not long after, they finally made it to Cinnabar Island - where they restored the Great Lord Helix Fossil into Omanyte - their god was finally reborn as a flesh and blood Pokemon. Of course, it was immediately trapped in the PC of Doom.

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via Kotaku

Retrieving Lord Omanyte was no simple task - Rhyhorn, a Zubat, and a Nidoran were lost through day - but eventually Lord Omanyte was brought into the party and nothing of  great significance was lost.

The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING



The Complete Guide to Twitch Plays Pokemon UPDATING

Halfway through day 13, Twitch Plays Pokemon hit 300 hours of nonstop gametime. If people were as dedicated to solving world hunger as they were to this, no one would ever starve again in history.

Day 12 ended with a lot of non-progress in the Pokemon Mansion and somehow getting trapped behind tables. But Day 13 made some solid progress early on - teaching Lord Omanyte and The Fonz both Surf and then defeating Blaine and obtaining the 7th badge. In less than two weeks, the players were only one badge away from Victory Road. What many thought would take months had been accomplished in a mere couple weeks. On the other hand, 300 HOURS.

With all of this done, the players headed back home to Pallet Town. And...remained in Pallet Town for much longer than was necessary. They say you can't go home again, but Red clearly doesn't play by anyone's rules.

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Red's homecoming was short-lived - he soon made forward progress to Viridian City, where the final gym stood waiting for him. Of course, navigating something so simple was doomed to be an hours long, complex effort. You see, there's another ledge located riiiight beneath the gym entrance, making the necessary turn incredibly difficult.

Ledges....why'd it have to be ledges?



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Early in the day, Red finally successfully entered Giovanni's Gym of Horrors! Then left and jumped off the ledge. But then he re-entered. Then left and jumped off the ledge. Then...well, you get the picture. Simply GETTING to Giovanni was going to take a lot of work, let alone actually beating him. Eventually the players made it to the dreaded Team Rocket boss for the final time...and lost. But on the second time, the players defeated Giovanni for the last time in the game - receiving the 8th and FINAL badge necessary before journeying on to Victory Road.

And within about an hour, rival Blue was defeated.

What lay ahead is nothing short of the most dangeorus and tricky path in the game - Victory Road. There are strength puzzles, high level wild Pokemon, and trainers everywhere. But worse...there's a ledge. A ledge that leaves less room for error than any ledge seen as of yet.

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 Then - something miraculous happened: the players realized that their Pokemon were still a little underleveled (given the best strategy is to tank their way through the caves of Victory Road). In this spirit, they headed to Cinnabar Island to grind up some levels in the Pokemon Mansion.

Thus ended two weeks of this insanity (336 HOURS) - a schizophrenic kid wandering around a mansion, beating up random wild Pokemon to beef up his pets.