This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the the travails you went through in the messy world of online gaming. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
This is a story I assume you'll get more than one of. Day-God Damn-Z. I won't tell every story just the most entertaining one. I spawned near Three Valleys and started trekking north to Berizino. The usual shtick. I met up with a friend of mine in-game and we looted building and killed zombies. We were held up by 3 bandits with guns, all our equipment taken and force fed rotten fruit. We were then told that we had to fight to the death for charcoal tablets. I hesitated for a second but he hesitated for 2. The 3 bandits gave me back my axe and sent me on my way - but I have to LIVE with that shit now. DayZ - the only game that can really make you question your conscience.
This is actually one of my husband's worst experiences with gaming, and I gleefully make it worse for him at every opportunity.
Several years ago, my husband finally got me to play my first (and, to date, only) MMO, City of Heroes. One of the guys from our supergroup had a macro for whenever someone he was grouped with leveled, in which he would announce, "Gratz to ya homeslice!" in chat. We grouped with this guy pretty often, and I noticed that it really bugged my husband to get that message at every single level. Naturally, I started doing it, too, even when the other guy wasn't around. Over time, we stopped playing City of Heroes, but that macro has really stuck, and he HATES it. Every time I see him level in any game, I still exclaim, "Gratz to ya homeslice!", sometimes with variations depending on the character he is playing ("Webs to ya homeslice!" when he plays Spiderman in Marvel Heroes is one that makes him really cringe). He even attempts to hide leveling from me sometimes in a bid to escape his torment, which of course will never end.
I was playing MW3 and it was a new map to me, and I was just getting pwned HARD. I had my headset on and some guy decides to start making jokes and just go after me (again - I was doing really bad). He started taunting me by my gamer tag (Deathbutterflys), "Come on lil butterfly, go, go on and fly" or something like that, and then some other guy joined in. I eventually spoke after my friend and I stopped laughing so hard from what they thought was trash talk. So I say trash talk back and the first retort one of them came up with was "Hey! Shut up, you suck and you sound like a gay prepubescent Mexican boy!" I replied with "I'm a girl", shotgunned him in the face, and silence just took over.
Several years ago, my two friends and I were playing free roam in Red Dead Redemption on the Xbox 360. The game had only been out for a few days and we were still trying to figure out how everything worked.
Anyway, after wandering around on horseback hunting animals we were all suddenly and without warning killed by another group of players who seemed to have a near-endless supply of dynamite and fire bottles. We shrugged off the random encounter and carried on... only to be killed by the same group several minutes later.
This continued for a while before the other group eventually retreated back into the mountains. My friends and I were about to leave the game when we overheard one of the players from the other group make a snide remark (something along the lines of "those f***ing p***ies didn't know what hit them").
I don't know if it was the repeated viewings of our characters being brutally burnt to death or the fact that we had been playing this game for the past four hours straight and it was getting close to three in the morning, but that one comment was the straw that broke our collective backs.
We spent the next hour climbing the mountain that the other group holed themselves in (the entire time they would chuck dynamite or fire bottles at us, as per usual), until we finally reached the summit and cornered the group of now just two players.
Needless to say, we enacted our vengeance by brutally murdering them over and over and over again, killing them within seconds of their respawn. Without their overpowered weapons and large group, the two players were essentially helpless.
By the time my friends and I were done with our twisted vendetta, it was 5 AM, the sun was beginning to rise and the other players finally quit the game.
After a few seconds of silent contemplation, my friends and I followed suit. We never went into Red Dead Redemption's multiplayer section ever again.
The year was 2010. Somewhere around Friday the 13th, August. I lived in Belgium and I was about ten at the time. Luckily, I spoke fluent English, allowing me to make use of the majority of the internet. My game of choice (and also my first MMO) was Adventure Quest Worlds. I LOVED the game. I spent almost every waking hour playing this game, laughing, battling, all that jazz. It was awesome! Imagine my excitement when I heard of an upcoming Friday the 13th event! My first event was going to be a blast! With a free, exclusive item, a cool musician and GEORGE LOWE! Not that I knew who George Lowe was at the time, but that's beside the point. The event started at midnight, and I wanted to be there. Luckily, it was summer vacation, so I was allowed to stay up untill then.
So, I went to to campground, a little place where people could wait for the event to start. I claim my exclusive Friday the 13th item, and then... I sit. And I wait. I chat with some other people, but in the end, they leave and I'm left alone. Well, alone with the NPCs, but you know what I mean. Midnight comes, but the event doesn't. It's cool. It's not starting at PRECISELY midnight... Right? Flash forward to 1 AM. I'm sitting there, confused as all hell. Why wasn't it starting? It's two 2 AM now. I'm trying all sorts of things. Leaving and coming back, logging out and in again, joining the same area, but in a different server. After I had been telling my dad "Just a little bit more." for the last 3 hours, I was tired. Confused, exhausted, and with red eyes from staring at a screen for hours, I go to bed. When I woke up, I went to check on the game again. The event had started. I did participate, and I rocked out to Voltaire while slaying monsters, but I kept wondering why it didn't start when I was waiting. So I did a little research. It turns out there's a pretty big time difference between America (where the game was developed and where the game's headquarters is located) and Belgium. I could not have thought of a worse way to learn about time zones.
Sadly, we never heard back from Joseph from last week's entry/declaration of love. Joseph, if you're out there, we hope it worked out for you. Anyway - for next week, we're looking for stories explaining your gamer names - whether it was what you named your RPG party members, or your Xbox Live gamertag, or any other pseudonym you've used in a videogame. Send us your stories for Pwn Up: Say My Name.