Are you a socially-anxious, overly-neurotic, deeply self-critical individual? If you are, you occasionally run into potentially embarrassing situations that you overthink even though they're likely completely irrelevant and you have no reason to be embarrassed. One of these situations might be buying a videogame with a weird cover. Like, oh I dunno, Bravely Default.
The game looked great (and it IS great) - but the problem is, I really, REALLY didn't want to go to an employee at Best Buy or GameStop and buy a game that featured some kind of creepy "sexy teenage butterfly." This is not a "cool thing" for a grown adult to be buying in a public setting. However, I wanted a physical copy AND I wanted it immediately, so that took downloading and Amazon off the table.
Luckily, this gave me an excuse to come up with different methods for getting the game, embarrassment-free!
1. Pretend You're An Exasperated, Confused Parent
Go To Line: "I'm looking for a game my son wanted. Bravery My Fault or something? For the 3D Gameboy?"
2. Pretend You Just Picked a Game At Random
Go To Line: "Ahhh I just need something to play. Oh, what's this game? Bravely Default? Yeah, sure, this'll do."
3. Pretend Like You Vaguely Heard It Was Good But Haven't Been Watching Hours and Hours of Footage and Played the Demo
Go To Line: "I think I heard about this game somewhere. Probably on a dating site, where I get lots of dates. Anyways, I think it's supposed to be okay maybe. I'll play it and then go on MANY dates."
4. Pretend To Be Two Children Standing On Each Others Shoulders and Buying the Game as a Goof
Go To Line: "Nah, I always wear a slightly too long trenchcoat when it's 5 degrees out. Oops! Sorry I wobbled a bit there. Anyways, I would like to purchase this videogame. I'm definitely not two children standing on each others shoulders - wink wink."
5. Pull the Ol' "Cool-Game Sandwich," Buying Call of Duty: Ghosts, Bravely Default, and another copy of Call of Duty: Ghosts
Go To Line: "Really wanted to bro down with some Cod - aka Call of Doots. Thought I should balance out that awesomeness with this dumb lookin' game with an overtly sexualized jailbait fairy on the cover. Mainly here for the Ghosts though. Call me an Icelandic fisherman, cuz I gotta have my cod."
6. JUST DOWNLOAD THE GAME and never interact with another human being and stand before their judging glare ever again
Go To Line: "I'll go to the bathroom while this downloads. And leave the door open. Because THAT'S SOMETHING I CAN DO HERE."