Over the weekend, JK Rowling shocked the world when she revealed that Hermione Granger should have wound up with Harry Potter instead of Ron Weasley. We followed up with Ms. Rowling and found that this is but one of several changes she would want for the series. Here are some of her other revelations that we found most surprising:

 

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"In my younger years, I erroneously believed that lightning was the coolest thing in the world. I now know that daggers are. They are so cool. I apologize for the pain this may cause some fans, but daggers are just so majorly wicked awesome."

 

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"I now regret how disturbing this scene is for a novel that I had intended for children to read. If I had to do it again, Voldemort's face would have grown out of Quirrell's butt. Rather than hiding the face behind a turban, Quirrell would have hidden the face behind a teal sweatshirt tied around his waist. I think this would provide the story some extra levity."

 

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"I had always intended 'Neville' to be a bumbling and unassuming character, but I now realize the strong name I chose for him may have undercut this. Ideally, he would be renamed Twiddlesticks Terwilliger Bigbottom, be four feet tall, debilitatingly crosseyed, and incapable of communicating in anything other than grunts and guttural barks."

 

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"I will admit that I was lazy in my writing. Two characters finishing each other's sentences is not interesting or unique. I should have had Fred, George, Barney, Cliff, Dougie, Brandon, Brendan, Lyle, Spacely, Brandon II, Topcat, Mr. Respect, Biff, Gomez, Big Mac, and Dolemite speak entire sentences a single word at a time. That, truly, would have been magical."

 

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"As a young, developing writer, I used the lack of a nose as a shorthand for serpentine evil. I now realize that a giant, man-sized nose is the most terrifying thing imaginable. The image haunts me in my sleep. I am afraid to go to bed now."

 

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"Because knowledge is the pearl of a school, or something. Y'know, I really haven't thought this one through. I just think it would look cool, okay?"

 

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"How cool is The Running Man? Easily my favorite Arnold movie. Easily."



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"I shouldn't have written any of that bullshit about magic. Magic's not real, magic will never be real. It's like I was actively encouraging children to sit around and wait for something that would never, ever happen to them. Harry should have pulled himself up by the bootstraps.  He still should have had that dagger scar, though. Daggers are so fucking cool."