1. Dankey Kang & Princess Zorldo

The Rumor: Two contestants on Jeopardy! submitted incredibly wrong answers to a videogame-related Final Jeopardy - the answer (obviously referring to Sonic the Hedgehog) was greeted with "DANKEY KANG" and "PRINCESS ZORLDO."

5 Viral Videogame Rumors That Were Total Bullshit

 

The Reality: These were photoshopped images, by semi-famous internet person and comic person @VectorBelly (author of Twitter: The Comic). They were posted as jokes, but spread immediately and without context, as things do on the internet.

 

 

 

In case that isn't enough for you, here's a bit more: the contestant who supposedly wrote down "Dankey Kang" is Jen McFann - here are her Jeopardy stats (courtesy of J-Archive):

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She was on two episodes, and did not get a Final Jeopardy question wrong - meaning she could not have answered "Dankey Kang." Also, no one would have answered "Dankey Kang." Because COME ON.

 

2. Iron Man told Captain America he needed "solid dick" - because that was an old-timey slang for "straight talk"

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The Rumor: Old-timey comics! They're always using outdated lingo that now looks ridiculous and hilarious because of the ever-evolving nature of language! Remember the time Iron Man told Cap that he needed some "solid dick"?

 

The Reality: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooope. The magic of poorly-done photoshop strikes again, this time to imply Iron Man is going to sexually assault Captain America, when in fact he's only going to assault him with solid advice:

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That being said? The Joker ranting about boners is completely legit.

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3. Skyrim's "Arrow to the knee" line was a reference to marriage

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The Rumor: The biggest impact Skyrim had on the internet was a throwaway line spoken by guards occasionally - "I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow to the knee." The implication seeming, innocently enough, that the guards used to go on adventures until an unfortunate knee injury ended their questing days - leaving them to be endlessly-resurrecting faceless sentinels in cities that got attacked by dragons constantly. The internet instantly grabbed ahold of the line and turned it into meme legend. But - what if the line had a deeper meaning?

  5 Viral Videogame Rumors That Were Total Bullshit

via Tumblr

A rumor started (on Tumblr, a place of nothing but well-researched facts) that 'arrow to the knee' was ancient Nordic slang for marriage - meaning that the ACTUAL reasons the guards stopped adventuring was because they got hitched. Basically, it was the ol' "ball & chain" line, but for vikings. And since 99.9999999% of the internet is wildly unfamiliar with ancient Norse linguistics, a lot of people took the rumor at face value.

 

The Reality: Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. There is zero evidence or prior references to the phrase "arrow to the knee" indicating marriage anywhere on the internet.

Also, here's the guy who actually wrote the line explaining it:

 

 

Yep. It's exactly what it appeared to be.