Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One thing my friend does to keep from playing with little kids is state as soon as he is in the game and hears high pitched voices, he 'notifies' everyone that he is a sexual offender with emphasis on children and that he is mandated to notify everyone. He's not, but he is a genius, 'cause it works everytime.-Tommy
"Baby, if you get in daddy's way again during his Modern Warfare time, I will squish your tiny head and make you retarded."-Marc
The other day I was playing MW2 and not having a very good round. Some guy comes on the mic and starts yelling at me that I'm bringing the team down and how much better he was (even though his score wasn't much better). Anyway, I figured I'd mess with him so I told him I wasn't doing very well because I was playing on my iPad. The guy proceeded to tell the friends he was with and began asking me how that was possible. Being a computer engineer I made up some fancy jargon to get him to believe I actually was. I never told him I was joking so he may still be looking for a way to do that.-Andy W.
I was watching my brother play some Forza Motorsport 3, when all of a sudden (he has voice chat set to play through his speakers), someone blurts out "HOLY F*CKING SH*T" and their car just moves forward, decelerating, until it hits a wall. He comes back about 2 minutes later, and just blurts out, "MY F*CKING SOFA WAS JUST ON FIRE"-Liam

I was playing team death match on MW2, when a guy with the gamertag Jesus (with some random numbers at the end) joined. The conversation went as follows:Me: Guys I'm not comfortable killing Jesus. I'm Jewish.Teammate: Well I just killed him and I saw him again. He must have risen from the dead. 2nd teammate: I guess the proves your dumbass religion wrong.-Adam GVSU
I was in a lobby with two guys that seemed to know each other pretty well, and they had been going back and forth for awhile with each other. Then from one of them you could hear a girl in the background saying some pretty perverse things followed by, "I'll be right back, your sister is in the mood," to which to other replied "I don't think I like you as much ever since you started banging my sister. Make it quick."-Buck Baker
After killing this guy on MW2, someone loudly chanted, "R-A-P-E! Get your penis out of me!"-Tristan